Safe Haven
by Chris Anthony
Summary: College is all about starting over. Kate meets Jack and slowly realizes that despite her problems back home in Iowa, she is capable of being loved. Not ready for a relationship Jack's falls harder for Kate than planned. AU Jate
1. She's Damaged Goods

AN: This idea has been floating around in my head, I always wanted t write about Jack and Kate in college, but never did now because of Jack and Kate's real age difference, but I decided to give it a try, and see if anyone else likes this idea as much as I do. And if not, it's cool, because in order for this story to work I had to take certain liberties with the characters, as, Kate is 17, and Jack is 18. On most parts their life history is the same. Jack still has daddy issues with Christian, and Kate has issues with her mom Diane, and Wayne. Jack's character is a not as much of a leader now, and more of a partier…just because I doubt he would behave the way he does now at 18…and those tattoos…had to come from some wild period in his life. This story will be 100 jate, that's what I'm working towards, and like the title suggests…it will be all about Jack and Kate finding their 'Safe Haven' which would be in each other.

Chapter 1- She's Damaged Goods

"So how does it feel to be back home Jack?" Christian asked seconds before taking a sip of his wine. He nodded his head in appreciation and then placed the glass back down next to his plate of salmon.

Jack shrugged indifferently. Three weeks into his first semester at Haven University he wasn't expecting to see his family so early. Going to college in Massachusetts was all about getting away from home, but somehow in three short weeks he was already having dinner with them. Instead of answering Christian's question Jack dug his fork into a heap of mashed potatoes and shoveled it into his mouth.

Sitting next to his dad was his mother Margot. She wasn't saying much of anything, just sitting back in her seat with her red wine clutched tightly in her hands. Margot's lips were pursed, and she looked around the upper class Boston restaurant behind a steely glare. She was miserable that was no secret.

Jack shifted his eyes away from his mom and looked back at Christian who was staring back at him in disdain. Jack cringed. He hated when his father looked at him like that. Judging him for something or the other, even at dinner he was criticized. Jack fought the urge to throw his napkin down on the table and storm out of the restaurant. Boston was thirty minutes from Haven University, but he'd rather walk back than endure any further 'dinner torture' with the parents. He was going to be the bigger person and ignore his father.

Christian cleared his throat. "Your mother and I flew all the way from California, the least you could do is show us a little respect." His hand was clenched.

Margot glanced at Christian and then back at Jack. "We'll be out of his hair by tomorrow and not a day too soon."

Jack clenched his jaw. He was practically counting the seconds until their plane left from Logan to LAX. He took a sip of the Pepsi in front of him which felt like acid in his stomach. Today had been his busy day. Three Classes back to back, and Bio lab. Fun, fun, fun. So far this semester he was having trouble focusing; maybe it was the thrill of being away from home, or the girls, either way at some point he had to get his act together.

"Are you going to say anything at all Jack," Christian asked calmly. The anger in his eyes had died down ever so slightly. "Well if you won't talk then I guess were done here." Christian waved his hand for the waiter impatiently, "Check please,"

The waiter nodded, "Any boxes,"

Jack raised his hand but Christian told the waiter they didn't need any. "Actually I need one," Jack spoke up.

After the waiter left Christian turned back to Jack, "So you still can talk."

"I can talk, I just have nothing to say."

Margot passed Jack a withering look and then cleared her throat loudly. She placed her hand to her graying blonde hair which was tied up in a stiff bun. "Just stop forcing him Christian. I'm exhausted and I just want to get back to the hotel and get some sleep before the flight tomorrow."

"How is money?" Christian asked.

Jack shrugged, "You sent me a check a week ago,"

"I don't even remember getting a thank you," Christian sighed. "I would expect at least a thank you after that…but what do I get, nothing."

"I said thank you," Jack scowled. He could swear at times that his father just wanted to pick fights with him. It probably made the man feel good to call his son out on every minor fault in order to better himself. If Jack allowed his self esteem to be in the gutter because of his father then he would be a sad story. But over the years he had built a backbone. When Christian told him repeatedly that he wasn't good enough that only inspired him to work harder, to strive, and attain whatever goal Christian said he couldn't.

Jack glanced down at his watch. "I have a Physics exam tomorrow,"

"Oh really," Christian said with an arched eyebrow. "I could've sworn that when I looked at your schedule Physics was on Tuesdays and Thursdays…which means that if you were going to have an exam then you should've had it today."

Damn. Jack helplessly looked around. Chandeliers hung from the ceilings. Exquisite chandeliers adorned with thousands of tiny lights sending a radiant shimmer down onto the marble floors. The restaurant was called 'La Marymount' and it was full of what Jack would consider pretentious rich snobs, whose biggest worries fell along the lines of which new car to get each year.

Christian took out his checkbook and a pen. "How much do you need?"

"I'm good for now," Jack said quickly. As usual Christian ignored him and continued to write the check. In order to feel as if he was in control of his own life he needed to make his own money. Jack thought about telling Christian that he planned on getting a job on campus, but he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of laughing in his face.

"One thousand sound good?"

"I barely need that much money." Jack accepted a box from the waiter who had just come back. As he packed away his steak and potatoes, Christian slid a check over to him. This kind of behavior Jack didn't understand. Christian was always hard on him, and barely ever told Jack that he was proud, but yet he was always shoving money down his throat. Jack just didn't understand. But if his father was going to give him $1,000 dollars then he would take it.

After Christian paid for dinner the Shephard family left the restaurant. Jack quickly took the back seat. He rested his head against the chair and feigned sleep. After they dropped him off they would go back to Los Angeles, and life would return back to normal.

Late nights of Comedy Central after drinking, hooking up with random girls, and Thursday night parties, would welcome him back after Christian and Margot left. Speaking of which he was supposed to be going to a Frat party with his 'friend with benefits.' Jack smirked. His thoughts were momentarily distracted by the classical music filtering through the sleek black car.

Margot was sleeping up front and her quiet snores wafted to the back.

Jack opened his eyes and placed his hand against his cheek. He watched as the Boston skyline came into view. Towers hovered in the dark night, and bright yellow lights beamed down onto the harbor. Jack closed his eyes once more. The classical music was surprisingly calming…and he needed all the calming he could get. After a disastrously awkward dinner, and a D on his first Psychology test, he wasn't feeling the best. Jack groaned to himself. He still couldn't figure out how the hell he got a D on a Psychology test.

"How are the girls at Haven?"

"Fine," Jack said. Talking about women with his father was another path that he didn't want to take tonight, so he would change the subject at his own expense. "Mark is still dating his girlfriend from back home," Jack felt like kicking himself. How obvious was that.

"I wasn't asking about Mark, I was asking about you." Christian turned down the stereo. "Believe it or not, the house feels a little empty without you Jack,"

If Jack had been in a good mood then he would've laughed so hard that he could've started crying. Did Christian just admit to missing him? That was hilarious. "You miss me?" He had an edge of sarcasm in his voice.

Christian nodded, "Who else can I boss around…no I'm only kidding. But you're room is still the same way you left it and if you want to come home…your room will always be ready for you."

Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes. Was his dad high now? Jack wasn't sure what to say to that so he just remained silent. Christian turned around to look at Jack.

"But I'm sure after seeing what else the world has to offer the last place you want to come is home."

"College is nice," Jack mumbled weary not to make himself to comfortable with his father's current subdued attitude.

"And besides friends…what about your classes, in order to be a doctor, you have to be serious Jack. College is about having fun and growing up, but at the same time, you have to stay focused…you can't get into Medical school with a 3.0…"

"Medical school?" Jack said.

"Right, one does have to go to medical school in order to be a doctor," Christian chuckled. "You sound like you have another profession on mind."

"It's freshman year," Jack reminded slightly annoyed.

"Now is the time to start preparing for your future. I know your advisors tell you that you have plenty of time but in reality you don't. You hear me Jack, you need to keep your grades up so you can go to Medical school and prove me wrong, since that seems to be your main purpose in life,"

Jack's mouth dropped open slightly.

"Prove to me that you have what it takes Jack, because I want to be proud of you…and that's the honest truth."

Jack looked away. How many times did Christian have to remind him that he wasn't proud? Jack got it. And he didn't need to be reminded of that every single conversation. Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He would just bite his tongue and keep it all in. He didn't want to fight with Christian tonight. Not tonight, because he was going to get so wasted that this talk…and dinner would be repressed in some deep, dark, and ugly place.

It hurt. Who was he kidding to pretend as if he didn't care. The things Christian said demeaned him greatly, it wore him down, but he just needed a couple of hours to remind himself that he was in charge of his life and no one else.

And he wasn't going to be a damn doctor.

"I'm sorry Jack, but you could've been at Harvard. If only you had applied yourself a little more in high school then you…"

"I'm at Haven, it's a good school, and Harvard didn't accept me. I'm fine with that…so can you just move on." His tone was sharp and more emotionally charged than he had planned. Jack resented his ability to get worked up so easily, especially around his father. He massaged his temples as he bent his head.

Christian whistled, "No need to wake your mother Jack. She's sleeping in case you haven't noticed."

"I have noticed because that's all she does…drink, and sleep." Jack muttered only loud enough for him to hear.

"What was that?"

"I just said that I'm tired and I don't want to talk about this anymore," Jack dared to meet Christian's ice blue orbs in the mirror. Christian looked away signaling that he would back off.

* * *

Kate Austen released the tongs and watched as a greasy serving of broccoli and cheese slumped onto the student's plate. He smiled in appreciation and then headed off to the cheeseburger stand to grab some artificial beef. The sickening smell of cabbage and carrots drowning in oil filled her nostrils, and she couldn't run from the stench of the 'ground beef' which was an unnatural shade of light grey. Kate wrinkled her nose as she looked away.

If there was one thing she hated about Haven University it was working at the diner. It wasn't because she was too proud, that was definitely not the case. Coming from a middle class family bordering on poor in Iowa, she was used to working, and working hard. During the summer just before leaving Iowa and moving out to Massachusetts with nothing but a pillow, comforter, and flannel sheets, she held down three jobs. So it wasn't that she was proud, just beyond nauseated by the rancid smells of diner food.

Another student came in her line. Kate tried to smile and be as polite as possible. But such a simple task was difficult when she barely smiled at all. There was nothing to smile about, with the exception of leaving home. College had given her the perfect excuse to run away from Iowa, from the sadness, tears, and bad memories. Here, she could start over, but Kate wasn't sure how to do that just yet.

Three weeks at Haven, but yet she still felt burdened by life's tribulations even on the eastern seaboard. Hopefully her running away would make life easier at some point. Kate cast her hazel orbs on the overly made-up girl standing in front of her. Right, 'too much eyeliner, and lip gloss' girl asked for corn and string beans. Kate opened the glass coated with steam and added a heap of corn and string beans to the girls' plate.

It was almost time to head back to the dorm. On most Thursday nights Amherst Hall was crowded with rowdy college students getting their 'pre-game' on, which included the activities of streaking each and every hall naked whenever RA's were out of sight, guzzling down four or more beers before heading to a Frat party to drink more, and the most annoying of all music turned up to the highest volume.

Thankfully Kate had no plans of studying because she could never get anything accomplished in Amherst on a Thursday. Her roommate Lauren Wallace, Kate's only 'friend' at Haven University had invited her to a fashion show with the Caribbean students Association, but Kate had to decline politely because she had other plans. Her cheeks grew warm at the thought of her boyfriend Tom.

Kate crossed her arms as she leaned against a bulky silver refrigerator holding various cookies and cakes. Tom was her best-friend in the world because he understood her, he knew what she went through in Iowa, and it didn't hurt that he genuinely loved her. Tom's love made her feel human, because as silly as it sounded all her life she felt like an empty shell until Tom showed her that it was okay to let her guard down.

If it wasn't for Tom then Kate knew that she wouldn't be here today. As Kate glanced off towards the swaying trees and speeding cars outside she pictured what Tom would look like now. Just three weeks had passed, but she wasn't used to that long passing without being with him. Kate wondered if he had cut his hair, he said he would since he was going for a new look. She smiled wistfully to herself because she hoped Tom kept his hair longer.

Kate took in a deep breath as she looked down at her watch. After her shift ended at the cafeteria she had an hour to prepare dinner, it was going to be a mess cooking in the community kitchen but she wanted to go all out for Tom, because he deserved it.

"Hey girl,"

Kate snapped out of it and smiled back at Lauren who just strolled into the diner with her friends Jamie Kim, and Jordan Monroe. "Hey, just thirty more minutes until freedom,"

"Only you can make that dreadful purple barney suit look good, and you're wearing that tan cap," Lauren laughed playfully.

Kate blushed. Lauren always complimented her on how pretty she was, but Kate couldn't see it. There was nothing special about her. She looked like any other girl. "Can I get you anything," Kate showcased the assortment of choices each one more unsettling than the next.

Lauren wrinkled her nose, "That ground beef doesn't look all the way cooked. I think I'll pass,"

"Me too," Kate added.

"So your boyfriend is coming from Brown tonight. Should I make an extra point of coming back later just in case you two want to catch up for lost time?" Lauren asked with a mischievous twinkle in her almond saucers.

Kate placed her hand to her forehead shyly. "You can do whatever, it doesn't really matter,"

"I'll come back later just to give you some time, enjoy him sweetheart," Lauren waved and followed her friends towards the yogurt and salad line.

Kate doubted that she would be sleeping with Tom tonight. Especially since the first time, the summer right before Haven, was still fresh in her mind. She could still taste the blood in her mouth from getting slugged by her father, and the taste of her tears. Kate believed that her 'father' would've killed her that night if it hadn't been for Tom.

Her eyes were now glistening with tears. Kate quickly tried to divert her attention away from Tom and Iowa. Traffic in the diner was now starting to die down. Kate checked her watch once more. It was almost time.

Fifteen minutes later Kate rushed back to Amherst Hall. She had to rush. There was a shower that needed to be taken, dinner to be cooked, and a side of the room to be cleaned. Kate searched around in her pants pocket for her ID swipe card to get into the building. "I don't have time for this," She murmured to herself.

"I got it from here dad,"

Kate turned around and scooted to the other side of the door as the young male approached. She had seen him around campus often…his name was Jason…James…maybe…Jack, that was it. Jack looked at her and then passed her a small smile. A smile you would give to a stranger that you've seen around campus, but yet someone you don't know on a first name basis.

Kate watched as the car pulled away. She assumed that the two people in the car were his parents. Obviously she wasn't the only one with family issues. Kate was just assuming of course.

Jack pulled his swipe card from the pants pocket of his khakis. "Forgot your card?"

Kate looked up surprised. Was he talking to her? Jack glanced over and smiled. "If only they would keep the door open then it would be a little easier to get in."

"It would, but then anyone and everyone would be breaking into our rooms," Jack said as he held the door open for Kate.

"Thank you," Kate said. She pulled the diner cap off and her chocolate curls cascaded down her back. Jack swiped his card once more to bring the elevator down to the 1st floor. Kate stepped inside with a group of students carrying a pizza. Tom loved spaghetti so somehow she was going to find a way to make him some in the lounge kitchen.

"What floor?" A guy with a black Mohawk asked Kate.

"Um…"

"Fifth," Jack answered. "She is on the same floor as me,"

Kate closed her mouth and looked at Jack who stood in the corner with his hands tucked in the pockets of his black sweater. She thought they were on the same floor but she hadn't known that for sure until now.

* * *

"Dude, where have you been? Amber had been haunting the dorm room waiting for you to come back," Mark Silverman explained to Jack as soon as he came in.

Jack snorted, "Well hi to you too,"

Mark waved his hand, "Hi, but that girl won't leave. I told her to call your cell, but she said she would rather be here when you came back, and she's been here for three hours! Three hours of watching Bravo, eating our food…and did I mention haunting our dorm room!"

Jack smirked in amusement as he went over to his computer to check his mail.

"She was on your computer too," Mark pointed out as he picked up a dirty sock on the floor and sniffed it. "What the fuck!"

"That's your sock…it's about time you wash your clothes…and come again Amber was on _my_ computer?" Jack swiveled in his desk chair to look at Mark. "What was she on my computer for?"

"Looking for porn…pictures of naked girls, I don't know." Mark tossed the sock into his over spilling laundry basket. "That girl isn't even your girlfriend and she's clinging onto you…like moss on a wet rock."

Jack snickered, "Good analogy."

Mark placed his hands on top of his short red hair. "Thanks, my English 101 class is paying off. But seriously man, you need to tell that Amber girl to back off. She gets jealous when she sees you with other girls, does she really deserve the right to get jealous? She's a random girl you hooked up with at a party, life goes on, tell her."

"There's a better way of doing things," Jack said to himself as he checked his mail for any e-mails from his professors. "I had dinner with the parents,"

"How were they?"

"Just as evil as they were before I left California. My mom she was drunk by seven, and my dad…well he was just himself. I hope they don't come back until…well I actually hope they never come back. I just need to figure out what I'm going to do about Thanksgiving and Winter Break,"

"I just saw the hottest girl the other day," Mark sat down on the edge of Jack's bed. "She lives with um…Lauren Wallace you know her?"

"Sounds familiar," Jack commented as he started typing away. "But honestly right now all I want to do is get so drunk that I forget about…" Jack paused for a second and thought about the glass of wine in Christian's hand.

"You okay?" Mark asked surprised.

"Good, just thought about my dad. But I don't care anymore I'm going to have some fun tonight."

"Music?" Mark turned up the stereo full blast and then started to dance around idiotically.

"Stop dancing, you look dumb."

Jack sighed at the sound of Amber's voice. Mark wasn't lying she really was haunting the dorm. He was reminded of her presence when Amber placed her hands on his shoulders. She leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. Jack closed his eyes. He didn't want to be mean to her, but Amber just wasn't his type. At the moment he really didn't know what his type was…he just didn't want to be lonely.

"Are you going to the Frat party?"

Jack thought most of the Frat guys were obnoxious but he never turned down a party on Frat Row. Amber squeezed Jack's arms and slid her free hand down his chest. While she touched him all he could think about was his father. What the hell did he feel the need to bring up Harvard for? Any attempt to make Jack feel bad. Christian just always had to have the upper hand.

"After the party I was thinking that we could do whatever you want," Amber brought her hand lower.

Jack let out a ragged breath and looked deep into Amber's blue eyes. Her lips curled into a suggestive smile, and her honey locks cascaded down his shoulders. If drinking didn't do the trick, then hooking up with Amber would give him a temporary release. Temporary was the key word…because no matter what he didn't want to lead Amber on to far. "All I want to do is have fun,"

"We will man," Mark said with wide eyes.

* * *

Kate stepped out of the shower and traipsed through the halls towards her dorm room. She hated the community shower and the embarrassing walk back to her dorm afterwards. Kate kicked off her blue flip flops, and placed her shower caddy next to numerous textbooks. She allowed her towel to slide to the floor and as she changed into one of the three jeans that she possessed, Kate reflected on her new found freedom. It was a welcoming change to be able to sleep through the night and not have to worry about waking up with someone's hands around her neck. Kate shivered at the thought alone. If she allowed herself to feel bad about leaving Iowa then she would end up going back, which was why she wasn't going to give herself the opportunity to feel bad.

Her mom refused to leave so that was on her. After Kate was dressed she looked into the small mirror hanging on the back of her door. Her freckles were more pronounced than usual…she hated them. Since there was no time to fret over her freckles, Kate closed the closet door and finished getting ready for Tom.

After she was dressed Kate checked the lounge to see if it was free. Luckily it was…but the stove was absolutely disgusting. What looked like salmonella was caked around the burners and a mysterious white liquid was splattered on the front handle. Kate wasn't even going to question what that was or touch it.

"Ramen noodle time," Jack announced to himself. He blushed in embarrassment when he realized that Kate was also in the lounge. "I keep seeing you today,"

"We do live on the same floor," Kate placed down the ground beef, and various spices inside the steel pot, and placed that on a couch. She had to go back to her room to get the cleaning supplies she and Lauren shared.

"Hey,"

Kate stopped in the doorway and glanced over her shoulder.

"Are you seriously going to leave an unopened package of ground beef, and seasoning just lying around. On this floor I can guarantee by the time you come back it will all be gone,"

"Right,"

Jack held up his hand, "But…lucky for you I was looking for the perfect excuse to stay in the lounge a little longer. I'll watch your food."

"You don't have to do that," Kate said quickly. That was nice of him but at the same time she barely knew Jack…Kate didn't even know his last name. "Go ahead and start your ramen noddles…"

Jack shook the small box in his hand, "I'm not cooking these. I ate already…um…not that you care but…" He chuckled. "I'm digging myself in deep here, but the offer still stands I'll watch your ground beef."

There was a charm to this guy that Kate found attractive. Seeing as though she was getting side tracked Kate guessed it was okay to leave the ground beef with Jack.

* * *

"You were ground beef babysitting for a girl you don't even know?" Mark asked in confusion as Jack explained his whereabouts thirty minutes ago.

"Lauren Wallace's roommate, the hot girl you were talking about."

Mark laughed out loud and then patted Jack on the back, "You should've gotten her number, or at least invited her to the party!"

"And then what sleep with her?" Jack asked as he placed his hand against his head. "Do you have any advil or something…where is Amber is she gone for the night?" He stood up and started to search around for some kind of medication. "I hope she's gone because I really don't want to bring her to this party."

"She ran down to the snack machines; she'll be back in a couple of seconds." Mark sighed exasperatedly. "Kick her out Jack, who cares about being the nice guy all the time."

"I'm not the nice guy,"

Mark laughed, "You try not to be…but below all that brooding you're one of the nicest guys I know." Mark pulled out a blue and white stripped polo from his closet. "How does this look…does this shirt scream 'I'm going to be getting lucky tonight' or "Going home alone dude."

"The later,"

Mark scowled, "I wore this to a party the first week and I at least got this girls number,"

"You called her and it was the number to a retirement home." Jack stared back at Mark blankly. "Take my words, not that shirt."

The door opened once again.

"I come bearing food before the party." Amber had two candy bars in her hand. "Who's hungry because I know I sure am…more so for Jack than the candy…but hey can't feed the beast just yet."

Jack placed his head on the desk. Amber was not helping with his headache, she needed to just leave his dorm. Amber placed down a Mr. Goodbar next to Jack's head.

"You might need a sugar rush after all the activity you're going to be engaging in tonight."

"What I _need_ is Advil, do you have any of that?" Jack grumbled.

* * *

Dinner was prepared, her dorm was somewhat presentable, and she was ready. Kate examined her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was up in a high pony tail, and she wore a light blue graphic tee, jeans, and flip flops. It was next to impossible to be pleased with the way she looked. Kate closed the closet door and started doing last minute adjustments on the carpet in the middle of the floor which was slight crooked, hiding the AV cable behind the television, and then the phone rang. Kate raced over to get it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kate,"

It was Tom. Kate's cheeks flushed with warmth. He was here. "Tom! Hey, where are you?"

"Um…Salem Hall, you live in Amherst right."

"Amherst and Salem is in the same community. I'll be outside in one second just try and find somewhere to park okay."

"Will do,"

"Okay, bye Tom," Kate placed the phone back in it's cradle and frantically made one last attempt to find her card key. A minute later she decided to give up so she took the stairs. The Thursday night party scene was officially in swing. Girls were walking around in short skirts, and tube tops even though it was fifty nine degrees outside. "Excuse me," Kate said to them as she rushed to the door.

Kate caught a glimpse of Tom's blue Ford. She fought the urge to squeal. Because squealing was not her, but Tom was here! She could squeal for him if she wanted. Kate stepped out into the breezy New England night and walked towards Tom's car. His radio was blasting 'Take me Home Tonight', they were the biggest 80's music geeks in the world. Kate could still remember cruising down the Iowa country side with Tom in his car listening to Tears for Fears, and old Michael Jackson songs, before the whole freaky transformation.

Tom stepped out looking completely different, but yet still handsome. He wore a cream sports jacket, over a long sleeved black shirt and jeans. Tom had cut his hair, it was buzzed close to the scalp, but not close enough to make him bald.

"Hello Brown University," Kate taunted enthusiastically.

"I can't recall the last time I saw you smile like that. Hey beautiful," Tom embraced Kate warmly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Kate wondered why he didn't kiss her on the lips but she was glad to see him so it didn't matter. She rested her chin on his shoulder. "Is that cologne I smell?"

"Yeah," Tom said sheepishly.

"I don't remember you wearing cologne."

"It's the whole college thing," Tom blushed. "So can we go inside? It's freezing out here."

"Of course," Kate quickly ran to catch the door after a few drifters slipped in. "Are you staying over here tonight or going back to Brown?"

"Brown,"

Kate forced a smile. Tomorrow was Friday and he had classes so she could understand. But he didn't even hesitate to turn down the invitation. Kate led the way to the stairs. Besides the haircut, clothes, and cologne, there was something else different about Tom. He wasn't as warm, and the Tom she had grown up with was always warm. Kate didn't want to trouble herself in longer with these crazy thoughts, because she was happy Tom drove to Haven to see her

"I made dinner,"

"Wow, Katie _you_ cooked?"

"I did," Kate said with a nod. She clasped her hands together. "I nearly burned down the campus three times, but finally I got the noodles to stop catching fire…don't ask, it was a mess. But I tried the spaghetti myself and I think it's partially edible at least," Kate smiled.

"You're really happy here aren't you," Tom asked with caring eyes.

"I'm happy to be away. But it's not this place that's got me all giddy like this…because we both know that I don't do giddy."

"I know," Tom said as he pulled off the blazer and draped it around Kate's desk chair.

"I'm just happy to see you, because whenever you're around everything is okay…and stability in my life becomes a reality not just a dream." Kate bowed her head in embarrassment. "I sound ridiculous I know."

"You don't,"

Kate crossed her arms as she looked back at Tom. He was staring down at the textbooks on her desk. Something was wrong. She couldn't deny that any longer. "Are you tired?"

"Not tired, just…sad,"

Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes. She walked over to Tom and sat down on the floor in front of him. Kate thought about placing her hand over his, but she managed to refrain. "Why are you sad Tom?"

"Kate…I love you,"

Tears of happiness filled Kate eyes. She loved Tom too, and it was because he loved her despite all of her shortcomings, and esteem issues. Tom showed her that she was worthy of love even though she still has problems believing that.

"I love you, but…"

But? Kate tilted her head to the side and waited for Tom to say more.

"We're in college now, and not even in the same state. I'll always be here you know that, but maybe we need a break, just some time to enjoy freshman year at least and…"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"No…yes, I love you. But right now I don't want to be in a relationship. I'll have your back always Katie, because you're like my family…"

Kate stood up. Tom's words were mixing in her head in a scattered jumble. He drove all the way here to dump her? But how could that be when Tom had always cared so much. Did he really just break up with her? The one stable person in her life was letting her go. She was going to cry.

Memories of Tom kissing away her fears, and promising to run away with her flooded her mind. She was still in shock. Kate didn't want to look at Tom until she had time to digest his sudden news and pick her mouth up off of the floor. She walked towards the door in an unsteady gate.

Tears were spilling down her cheeks already. Tom stood up, Kate didn't want him to see her like this. Because this side of her Tom had seen many times before, the fragile girl that was tough on the outside but damaged on the inside. Tom called her name, but Kate didn't hear him because she was running.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was sobbing. It wasn't like Tom was just some boy she met in high school and fell in love with, they had been friends before, and he had always been the one to save her from herself. She thought Tom loved her and cared. But he didn't. Kate didn't care that she could be overreacting. She pushed the stairway door open and started running down the stairs two at a time. People looked at her in uncertainty. They probably thought she was drunk and having an emotional fit, but at that moment Kate didn't care what they thought. She just needed to get away from Tom. He was the one that she always ran to, but now she needed to run away from him.

Kate made a sudden turn into the laundry room. Thankfully it was propped open. Kate stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She placed her hand to her rapidly beating heart and allowed herself to cry even harder. Her sobs came out in loud wails. She couldn't pretend as if she didn't care that Tom was dumping her even if she tried. He was the only good thing in her life and now there was nothing else.

No hope for being something better than she was.

A washing machine closed.

Kate opened her teary eyes in surprise and her hand dropped from her heart. In front of her Jack stood in his boxers, with a bottle of detergent frozen over the washing machine. He saw her crying. Kate thought about running out of the laundry room but then she risked running into Tom…and right now she just couldn't deal with him.

Jack placed down the bottle. Even though he didn't know her, his eyes were filled with sadness.

Which only made Kate cry harder. "I'm just drunk," She spat. Kate turned away from him and placed her hand against the door so she could cry in privacy. She knew that Jack was still watching her closely but Kate didn't care, because she couldn't hide the train wreck even if she tried.


	2. Ballad for the Lonely

AN: Thank you so much everyone that took the time to review this story! I definitely wasn't expecting that big of a response…because of the complete AU-ness of the fic. So thank you, here's the next chapter, I hope it's somewhat decent. And I know that for some of you it was a little hard to adjust to Jack's character, I figured that at 18 he's still not sure about what he wants to do with his life, and Christian is still an authority figure that he hopes will one day just be happy with him. Well he's not that naive but yet he still hopes. Further along in the story I hope that Jack will be more comfortable to read, he'll start showing more signs of the good doctor he is now later on. Also if anyone has any questions feel free to ask away, because I know AU fics can be confusing at times. Once again thank you for reviewing:)

Chapter 2- Ballad for the Lonely

Jack stood in silence as he watched her. He wanted to go over and help her any way he could. Kate was turned around so all Jack could see was her back rising up and down slowly as she breathed. Jack closed the lid on the washing machine and took a step in Kate's direction. They were strangers. The only time he actually got eye-contact from her was when he let her in Amherst Hall earlier, and when he revealed that he knew they were on the same floor. Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes. She probably wouldn't approve of him trying to offer his help, after all who was he to her? The boy that babysat her ground beef that was pretty much it.

Jack swallowed. It was hard for him to walk away from anything. He almost resented the fact that he cared so much about someone that he didn't even know. There was no way he could just walk out of the laundry room without trying to help in some way. Jack opened his mouth but he had no idea what to say. The room was unbearably quiet. He had to do something. Jack had been around his share of drunk girls to know the difference between 'an alcohol induced emotional fit' and the real thing. Kate wasn't drunk. She was deeply bothered by something.

Jack took another step in Kate's direction but then he stopped again. At this rate she would leave before he could even attempt to help her. Jack gazed around the laundry room. Piles of clothes rested on top of washing machines and dryers, and a quarter machine was positioned next to the sink with a napkin dispenser beside it. He walked over to the sink and grabbed some napkins.

Kate was a stranger but this wasn't the first time he noticed her. There was something about Kate that caught his attention. Not just the fact that she was beautiful, but there was something mysterious and reserved about her nature. Jack had never shared any of this with Mark, even though they were best-friends there were some things better left unsaid. Jack couldn't even understand it himself.

He felt the need to put on some pants and a shirt before he approached her. Jack didn't want Kate to leave at least not until he showed her that he cared. He had observed her long enough to know that there was something slightly tragic about her, but yet he still wanted to know her.

His cheeks flushed with warmth as he got close enough to touch her. Jack hesitated before extending his arm outwards. "Tissue?" He asked hesitantly.

Kate remained with her back facing him.

Jack felt like an idiot. She probably didn't want to be bothered and here he was bothering her. He watched as her hand slid from the door and then dropped to her sides. Jack stepped back as Kate slowly turned around. She was beautiful but he had realized that a long time ago. He was at a loss for words. Jack couldn't imagine why a girl as gorgeous as Kate was so sad. The only time that he saw her smile was in the lounge a couple of minutes ago. She had a beautiful smile that was beyond captivating.

Kate stared back at him as if he was intruding on her space. Her eyebrows were furrowed low, and her lips were fixed in a tight grimace. She stared at him for a while and then her eyes softened ever so slightly. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and her eyes were red rimmed. Kate stepped away from Jack pressing herself up against the door. "What do you want?"

Jack blinked once then twice. He was surprised by her reaction. All he wanted to do was help. Jack bowed his head and then looked down at the napkins. "I just thought that you could use these." He raised his hand and motioned the napkins in her direction.

Kate stared at the napkins in his hand. She seemed to be contemplating whether she should take them or not, but instead decided to cross her arms. Tears started to fall once again. "Thanks…but no thanks, I just kind of want to be alone."

Jack nodded in defeat. "Well I'll leave you alone then," He stepped aside her and grabbed his robe which was resting on the dryer closest to the door. Jack pulled it on, and then walked back in Kate's direction. She moved away from the door. Rejected twice in one day. Well that definitely didn't make him feel to good. Jack tried to keep his head up high as he took the stairs back up to the 5th floor.

She probably saw right through him. Jack never did have the best track record with women. His thoughts followed him back into his dorm. Mark was ready now. He looked back at Jack incredulously.

"Did you decide not to go to the party?"

Jack shrugged and then sat back down in his computer chair. He placed his hand against his cheek. Now he had two things to occupy his thoughts, dinner with the parents, and a disastrous run-in, with the only girl he thought he wanted to know in Haven. At least Amber wasn't in the room. Jack raised his head and turned around to face Mark. "No. I need to clear my mind so I'm going."

Mark nodded, "You do, so get dressed."

Jack wanted to tell Mark about Kate but then again it hurt too much, and he knew that Mark wouldn't understand. Because he didn't quite get it himself. Who falls in love with someone that they don't know. Who does that? Jack felt disgusted and ashamed that he had put himself in that position. If he had seen anyone crying in the laundry room he probably would've helped because that was the kind of person he was, but with Kate she wasn't just any regular person. Jack winced as he flashed back to the way she looked at him as if he was crazy. They talked tonight for the first time but despite their first two run-ins, the night was going to end like this.

That hurt. It hurt a lot.

"Amber picked out something for you to wear," Mark chuckled as he pointed to a burgundy button down shirt and jeans, "She said something about you two color coordinating can you believe that?" He shook his head in disapproval, "Jack you gotta to kick her to the curb before she goes all psycho on you."

"She's not my girlfriend," Jack pointed out with an edge of anger in his voice.

"I know that, but she doesn't. Something's up are you still thinking about your dad?"

"Fuck him," Jack mumbled sitting down on the edge of his bed. He placed his arms on his legs and looked down at the floor. Did he disgust Kate that much? She seemed not to mind him when they were on the elevator, and talking in the lounge. Why did he care about this! "Mark have you ever fallen for a girl that you've never talked to?" He couldn't look at his best-friend as he asked.

Mark smiled, "If she has a sick body then sure,"

Jack looked up on the verge of irritation. "I'm talking about love _love_,"

"A random girl?" Mark shook his head. "You mean like that love in first sight crap?"

Jack scowled. His best-friend was going to think he was lunatic so he was going to keep his mouth shut. After all he was starting to think he was crazy himself.

He could have any girl he wanted on campus. Jack knew that because of the way girls looked at him with lust in their eyes. At parties random girls always tried to hook up with him, and get his number. They thought he was attractive and it boosted him esteem to know that they did….but Jack feared that there was nothing else good about him. It didn't seem like the girls that approached him wanted to get to know him, they just wanted to have his body for one night.

Maybe there was nothing special about him.

He was destined to live a meaningless life of caring about people that didn't care about him. Alone and miserable with this secret desire to save everyone else in order to hide the real person that needed to be saved…himself. Jack looked up at Mark who was now spraying on a load of cologne on. Jack would've made a joke about Mark's 'foul cologne' suffocating all the girls at the party with its potent scent of old man and dollar store aftershave. Jack wanted to laugh but he couldn't. Mark's antics weren't enough to bring him out of this funk.

"Jack, you love some random girl? Who is she some girl you met in the Commons, some hottie that sits behind you in your boring Coastal Systems class. Details dude,"

"She's no one."

"So you were joking right," Mark sprayed one last mist of cologne. "The girls are going to come to me in droves. Jack I will be getting lucky tonight." Mark pumped his hands in the air.

"I was joking," Jack said flatly.

The door opened and Amber strolled back in uninvited with company. Jack stood up and walked towards them. Jack figured that he would go to the Commons and play pool or video games, anything to distract him long enough until Amber left. Amber grabbed his arm on the way out.

"Jack where are you going?"

"I need some air," Jack sighed. He looked down at Amber's hand on his arm and she let go.

"I thought we were all going to the frat party." Amber replied holding her hands up in the air and doing a quick dance movement. When she noticed the dead serious expression on Jack's face she stopped.

"I changed my mind. You go ahead and maybe I'll see you there," Jack reached in his pocket to make sure that he had his wallet. Amber looked back at him in concern. The way she was looking at him made Jack angry. Amber didn't deserve the right to be concerned about him. Jack looked away. "Why are you wasting your time here with me?"

"What do you mean?" Amber stepped back. "Jack, you're barley a waste of time."

"What I meant to say is why are you here with me. There is nothing that I can give you that some other guy can't." When he was upset or feeling practically down Jack had a habit of loosing his cool, but he was determined to stay levelheaded at least now. He didn't want to hurt Amber but he needed his space. "I'm not your boyfriend."

Amber placed her hand to Jack's head, "Jack are you feeling okay?"

Jack stepped back and her hand fell, "No not really, and I don't feel like playing these games anymore." He watched as Amber's friends walked over to her. They linked their arms inside of hers' and then led her away. Jack didn't get a chance to say anything else. He leaned against the wall and stared at the floor in uncertainty.

Mark stepped outside with a beer in hand and gave it to Jack. "Man, you deserve this. See how easy that was"

Jack shook his head. "I just didn't want to feel like I was using her."

"If you didn't 'dump' her then I was going to have to do the job for you. She was so annoying." Mark stared after Amber and her friends, "Bye Amber!" With that he turned back to Jack with a wide smile. "Well now that Ms. Needy is gone let's find you another girl that's less prone to digging her claws into you and labeling you as her man."

"You have a date with the ladies Mark. I got a date with my car."

"Where are you going?"

"New York, Connecticut, the moon. At this point it doesn't really matter I just need some time to myself." Jack shrugged indifferently.

Before Jack could grab his keys off of the press Mark intercepted him.

"You're turning down ladies…Amber I could understand…but hot sorority girls just falling into your hands," Mark brought his hands together. "Sorority girls Jack, and not to mention you asked about falling in love with random girls that you've never spoke to. Friend to friend I'm a little concerned."

"I don't care," Jack groaned. He pushed past Mark and headed out of the door. His cell phone vibrated. It was in his robe. He was still wearing his robe? God, he was really out of it. Jack turned back around and walked back towards his dorm.

Mark was chugging down a generic beer. After he was finished he burped obnoxiously and then tossed the can into the trash. "You changed your mind bud?"

"No, I'm just changing my clothes,"

Mark nodded. He patted Jack on the back. "Whenever you want to tell me what's up you can, just to put the offer out there in the universe." Jack didn't even look at him so Mark retreated. "I hope you don't mind if I bring a girl back tonight," Mark turned to see if Jack would respond this time but since he didn't Mark just continued on.

Jack pulled off his robe and tossed it onto his bed. He still couldn't believe the run in he had with Kate. Jack put on the shirt Amber had picked out for him and buttoned it quickly. It was too cold out for shorts so he slid on a pair of jeans. Jack had no idea where he was going but as long as it was away from Haven, his parents, and Kate, then it was good.

* * *

Kate stood in the laundry room with her head resting against the door and her hands at her sides. She hadn't moved since Jack left. Her eyes slowly drifted to the spot where he had been standing in regret. Kate didn't mean to come off so cold to him. After all he was just offering to help, but he couldn't help her. No one could. Kate wished that she had treated him a little nicer. The look in his eyes after she told him that she wanted to be alone stuck with her. For some reason he looked shocked. Kate wasn't sure what Jack had been expecting, but the reaction that she had given him wasn't it. All it seemed to take was one look, barely any words, and she had ruined him for at least that second.

Kate didn't expect to have that affect on him. She didn't know much about Jack, but she did know that lots of girls liked him, and people looked up to him. He was admired and popular, so Kate only assumed that he was confident as well. How could she, a random girl that meant nothing to him have such an impact? She was truly sorry for shooting him down when he was just trying to help. Kate raised her head from the door and looked around once more. The sound of clothes whirling in dryers, and washing machines filling with water reminded her where she was. The laundry room in Amherst Hall, six dryers, and six washing machines, someone was bound to come in to wash their clothes.

Hopefully Tom was gone so she could go back to her room. Kate walked over to the napkin dispenser and grabbed some napkins. She placed them down and then splashed some cold water on her face. She wanted to apologize to Jack, but at the same time it was better for him to think that she was this monster. It was only the truth anyways. Kate gripped onto the edge of the sink and tried to steady herself with shaking arms. She felt weak and emotionally drained.

It was time to go back to her dorm. Kate exited the laundry room and took the elevator this time back to the 5th floor. Her stomach was twisting into knots and uneasiness clouded her subconscious. She wasn't sure what would happen if Tom was still in her room. Kate couldn't deal with him, because she felt betrayed, and besides her emotions were too raw. If Tom was still there she had no idea what she would do or say.

Kate just needed to be alone so she could reflect and find some way to piece herself together. It was going to be hard to erase Tom from her life but that was what she needed to do. It seemed like just yesterday when Tom had told her that he wanted to marry her. When he told her that Kate had laughed and told him she wasn't the marrying kind, but then Tom had repeated it.

_"Katie, I want to marry you one day,"_

Those were his exact words. Tom was about as good of a liar as she was. Kate placed her hand to the side of her face as she walked past Jack's dorm room. She turned her head to the side and looked at his door. His message board was filled with notes. Kate heard his room door open. Her eyes widened. She rushed past his room and walked towards her own which was three doors down on the opposite side.

He was shuffling with his keys. The door closed and then Kate heard him open the staircase doorway. At that moment she turned around and watched him with regret. He probably was a nice guy, but it was best that he didn't get involved in her tangled life. She did him a favor by not explaining to him the real reason why she had been crying.

Kate took out her keys and started to open her door but Tom beat her to it. She looked back at him speechlessly. Her heart was beating rapidly and she wasn't sure if she wanted to cry again or hit him. Kate waited for him to move and without saying a word she slipped back into her room.

"Katie…"

Kate held up her hand silencing him. He had no idea what he was doing to her. She hoped that if she ignored him long enough then he would get the message and just leave. Starting over didn't even seem like a possibility anymore. Iowa was behind her, and so were her parents, but yet she never expected to have to erase Tom out of her life as well. Kate searched for something to do, she couldn't just sit on her bed and watch television, because he would look at her and she would start crying, so her back had to stay to him at all times.

Kate wanted to believe that she was tough, because coming from the family that she did she had to be. She could fight back, and lie all she wanted too, but at the end of the day her ghosts still lingered. There wasn't anyone in this world that could save her from herself, at least not any longer. Kate glanced over her shoulder at Tom and then turned back around.

Tears stung her eyes as she reached for the book that she had to read for her English class. She would just go to the lounge and pretend to study Tom would leave her alone then, because he would have choice.

"Can you talk to me," He begged.

She didn't have anything to say to him. As Kate walked past Tom placed his hand on her shoulder. Kate stopped in her tracks she hadn't planned on being stopped by him. She stared ahead lifelessly as she waited for him to say something. It was in her best interest to keep walking after all there was nothing to say that could fix what he had broken.

"Don't shut me out…please," Tom said quietly.

He stood in front of her but Kate couldn't look at him. Tom placed his other hand on her shoulder and brought his face closer. "Please don't touch me," Kate said.

"Just because I called things off for now doesn't mean that…"

"It doesn't mean what Tom!" Kate screamed unexpectedly. She pushed Tom's hands away and stepped back. "There is nothing else to say so just go back to Brown,"

Tom stood there with his shoulders slumped and a defeated look on his face.

Kate couldn't understand what he was still doing there. He ripped her heart out of her chest, stomped on it, and laughed in her face, and now hanging around to see what she would do next? The reality was too painful. Kate couldn't recover with him still there. Tom approached her once more. He was really messing with her head.

Tears fell down Kate's cheeks once again. She no longer had any control. She was sobbing again, crying like a little baby all over the place. Through blurry eyes Kate could see Tom's pity…it wasn't love anymore, but pity. He pitied her. Kate turned away from Tom. "Just get out of my room!" Kate screamed.

"I'm not leaving, I can't leave you like this."

"Just get out!" Kate turned around and lashed out at Tom once more but he grabbed her arm. "Don't touch me!" She was irrational and on alert. Kate had to protect herself from the world and now from him as well. There was no where safe haven to run to any longer, and no one to hold her…she had to be strong enough for herself.

"Kate!" Tom begged. He struggled with her but she was strong.

Kate struggled to make Tom let her go, she didn't want him to touch her, or look at her. She just wanted him out. He didn't love her anymore…maybe he never did. She just wanted him out! Kate cried as Tom tried to hug her as if all it took was one hug to fix this. "I'm not your problem anymore,"

"You were never my problem Kate," Tom placed his hands on Kate's face, but she forced him away by pushing him roughly on the shoulders. He stumbled and then fell to the floor. Tom stood up quickly and looked at Kate. He debated whether he should go over to her once more.

She stood by the window. Her hair was in a disarray and she was breathing hard. The pain in her eyes spoke volumes. Kate really was shutting him out.

After a couple more seconds Tom passed Kate one last heart wrenching glance. "I don't have to be your boyfriend to love you. All I asked for Kate was some time…not from us, because I want to see you. But time to be single, I never wanted to stop being your friend because…"

"I have a test on Monday and I was about to study. You're off the hook Tom, no questions asked." Kate cut off.

Tom closed his eyes as he accepted the realization that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. With no other choice he turned around and walked towards the door.

Kate watched as he walked out. Tom turned around one last time before closing the door. She walked back towards her desk and placed down the book. There would be no studying tonight. Like a zombie Kate crawled underneath her covers. It was best not to think about what happened or else she would cry all night, and she was all cried out.Two plates of uneaten spaghetti rested on her desk with cans of Coke beside each one.

She couldn't go to sleep with that still there. Kate pulled back her covers and scooped up the paper plates and threw them in the trash bin between her and Lauren's compact closets.

Kate opened her closet. She had a box of Tom's belongings. She no longer had any use for them. Kate opened the box and tossed out the contents. Never in a million years did she think Tom would betray her. Betray was a strong word but she did feel betrayed.

Kate picked up a toy airplane, a duplicate of one Tom had buried a couple of years ago. The time capsule they made suddenly seemed ridiculous and like a big waste of time. Kate closed her hands over the airplane. She wanted to throw the toy from the 5th floor along with the rest of his stuff but she couldn't.

Kate closed her eyes. How could he do this to her? How? She fell back against the bed and curled up like a child. Looking around the room feeling so small, and vulnerable. Tom had told her that she couldn't be a one man island. Kate remembered telling him that she could.

Kate bit her lip. And then he had kissed her.

_"You don't have to go through this alone," Tom said afterwards._

But she did have to go through this alone. His promises were empty and they always had been.

* * *

Jack stared out at the crashing waves beyond Haven look out. The stars twinkled brilliantly in the sky and a cool breeze wafted around him. Jack sat on the trunk of his car with a beer in his hands. Haven look out, was a popular hangout for mostly horny high school students, but some students from Haven University came as well. Tonight Jack was by his lonesome. He assumed that the high school students were preoccupied with some dance like homecoming or something, and the college students were probably all at the Frat party on Frat row. He tilted his head back and took another swig of his beer.

He wished that he didn't do a lot of things. Like care about what his dad said, and how his mom seemed to always ignore him, unless he did something to upset her. Jack placed down the empty can, and then crossed his arms over his legs. Most people would be happy to have what he did, money, a nice car, friends. Jack never had to worry about working but he wanted to just to feel as if he was doing something useful with his time.

He had everything he could want. Everything but love. Jack wasn't really sure what that was like. He smiled at how pitiful he sounded. Even in his own thoughts he embarrassed himself. For now he would blame his troubles on the beer, he was drunk, so he could use that as a scapegoat.

Kind of like Kate.

"That's what you get Shephard for caring about a girl you don't even know," He stated underneath his breath. Jack picked up the can and hurled it over the side of the cliff. The view up there was beautiful. The Atlantic seemed to extend forever and at some point connect with the sky. He wondered what Haven would look like when it snowed.

Maybe by that time he would feel more at ease with his life, and handle the transition of college the way he originally planned. Slacking was only going to give his father another reason to come down on him, and not only that but Jack really did want to succeed. Even with straight A's his dad wouldn't be pleased, but Jack had to do something for himself.

Jack hoisted himself up slowly. The world spun ever so slightly. He steadied himself by placing his hand on the trunk of his car. How many beers did he drink? Luckily for him Haven University was right up the street because as shitty as he felt the last thing he needed was to get in a car accident or get arrested for DUI. Before lowering his body back into the car Jack paused. He placed his hand on the roof of his car and watched as the ocean waves rippled, and the moon shined down on the quiant New England town. Haven could be the perfect place for him to start over. Only if he allowed himself to.

The cool breeze tickled his cheeks and a small droplet of rain cascaded down his nose. It was time to get back to the University. Jack got in his car and closed the door, when he turned on the ignition his car was flooded with 'Broken Wings.' Jack forgot that he had been listening to his 80's CD…the CD Mark gave him so much flack about. He rolled down the windows and then reversed out of the parking lot.

Jack reached for another can of beer. He would have to start over tomorrow because tonight he was just going to be miserable. Drink and think about all the things he wanted to improve in his life. Tomorrow, yes tomorrow he was going to live for himself and no one else.

Jack tilted his head back and took another swig of the beer. Drinking and driving was something he never approved of but here was doing it. Jack scowled. He placed down the can in the cup holder and placed both of his hands on the steering wheel. Bordering between drunk and pathetic Jack sung along with the words.

He was a horrible singer but he was the only one in the car so he would sing in order to release the rest of his frustrations.

Broken Wings. How fitting. Jack thought to himself in amusement.

* * *

Broken Wings was on the radio. Kate held the covers up to her chin as she tried to go to sleep. The radio wasn't helping. For the third time that night Kate got out of bed. She believed that she was finished crying now. At least she hoped so. Kate turned off the radio and then walked over to Tom's box. Earlier she had thought about getting rid of it, but yet everything still remained inside. The plane, a hat of his, all of the sweet letters that he had written to her, all of it was still in the box. Kate wasn't sure what she wanted to do with that box, but tomorrow she would decide.

Lauren still hadn't come back.

Kate was so used to Lauren being in the room with her, and now that the tears had stopped flowing she didn't want to be alone. Alone with her insecurities and regrets for leaving her mom back home in Iowa. Kate crossed her arms as her eyes laid on Lauren's side of the room. Unlike Kate's side…Lauren had pictures everywhere. Pictures of her family, and friends. Lauren was loved.

Often Kate found herself looking at the pictures. Lauren talked about her mom a lot. She was a single mother, and she had three kids. Lauren was the oldest. Kate stepped back. Whenever Lauren asked about her family Kate would lie.

She told Lauren that she was from Iowa, but that was the only truth she gave. Everything else was lies.

Kate grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste on her press. It was definitely time to rest her tired mind. She opened the door and stepped outside. Kate's mouth dropped open in surprise. She wasn't expecting to see what she did.

He was passed out in the middle of the hallway.

Kate thought about acting as if she didn't see him and going back into her dorm room, but yet she couldn't just leave him there. Kate stepped back inside her room and closed the door. She placed down her toothbrush and paste and crawled back into her bed. Maybe she could.

She should've been nicer to Jack earlier but she didn't owe him anything. He showed a little concern for her and she appreciated that, but she didn't have to do anything for him. Kate closed her eyes. She didn't want to give anyone else the opportunity to crush her the way Tom just had.

Her thoughts were dark until she flashed back to the laundry room. Jack stood there in his boxers in silence. Anyone else would've walked away at the terrifying sight of an overly emotional girl, but he stayed. For some unbeknownst reason to her he stayed and tried to help.

Kate opened her eyes and she got out of bed. She couldn't just leave him out there. It wasn't her duty to be Amherst Hall's Safe Ride but at the same time it would be horrible of her to leave him out there when their R.A., 'the beast' was on duty for the night.

The beast was a very sadistic junior by the name of Herman Moses. The residents teasingly called him Hermes the enforcer, just because he was strict when it came to drinking amongst the minors especially in Amherst a dry hall. Kate questioned what the hell she was doing as she walked back towards the door.

Regardless she opened the door and walked towards Jack's sleeping form. Kate looked down at him in silence. She despised drunks. Even though he was passed out like this as Kate looked down at him she felt hesitant to call him a drunk. She held her hands outwards in uncertainty. Now that she was here with him Kate wasn't sure what she planned on doing? Waking him up so he could walk back to his dorm? Well that was a start.

Kate dropped down onto her knees. "Get up,"

He didn't budge.

She tried. Kate stood up and got ready to walk back to her dorm.

"I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be coming in drunk tonight, I'm going to tell the CA to give me a call once they come stumbling in so I can be ready." Herman said loudly from his dorm a couple doors down.

Kate stopped in her tracks. She really couldn't leave Jack there. Maybe if she helped him out then that would make her feel better about being so mean to him earlier. Kate rushed back over to him.

"Jack,"

He muttered something incoherently.

"You're in the middle of the hall get up before you get in trouble," Kate warned.

"I don't have the bunnies," He mumbled.

"Bunnies…what?" Kate placed her hand to her head. The alcohol was talking. He reeked of alcohol, how much did he drink. Herman's door opened. Kate quickly bent down and wrapped Jack's arm around her shoulder.

What was she doing?

He was heavy. Kate held onto his hand as he unsteadily stood up. At least he was working with her. They swayed towards his room. Kate's heart was beating at the speed of light as she knocked on his door. Jack's roommate must be out with the rest of the campus partying and drinking themselves into a stupor that would last until next week. Kate thought in disdain. She tried the doorknob, the room was locked.

Herman would be out in any second. Kate had no choice but to take Jack into her room at least until the coast was clear. She walked in that direction. Jack rested his head on hers.

"You're not that light you know," Kate reminded as she led him inside. She closed the door behind them. Jack released his arm from around her lower waist and walked deeper inside the room. "After the beast goes downstairs you can go back to your room, Jack"

"What are you doing in my room?" Jack stated with a half smile. He walked over to Kate and she watched him silently. Jack placed his hands on her face and leaned forward. "You shouldn't be in my room, because you don't like me."

Kate placed her hands on his wrists and dropped his arms to his sides, "This is actually my room, but I couldn't just leave you laid in the middle of the hallway. After Hermes goes downstairs or wherever he's going you should go back to your room." Realizing that she was still touching his wrists Kate moved her hands away.

"This is my room," Jack said not hearing a word she just said.

Kate watched as Jack pulled off his shirt and then lowered himself onto her bed. She was steps away from throwing him out of her room, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to do that. Maybe he was a drunk, but at least he was a harmless one. Jack started to unbuckle his belt.

"Hey, hey," Kate said walking over to him. "My room," she repeated.

Jack stopped and then grabbed onto her pillow. He buried his face in it. "Then I won't get nakey,"

She expected to be mad. After all this stranger…who just so happened to be drunk was lying in her bed shirtless, with her pillow pressed up against his face. He was violating every rule in the book, but Kate didn't have the will to toss him out. Not after fighting, and breaking up with Tom. She would let this slide.

Jack could sleep in her room tonight. Kate didn't mind taking the floor.

From underneath her bed she took out a sleeping bag. Kate placed the sleeping bag by Lauren's bed and then walked back over to her bed to grab one of the two pillows underneath Jack's head. She still couldn't believe that she was letting him sleep in her room. Kate reached for one of the pillows careful not to disturb him.

"I would kick you out…but I just can't deal with anymore drama tonight," Kate whispered. "Just don't pass out in the middle of the hallway again because next time I might not be so nice," She watched him for a second. He looked so handsome just lying there like that. Kate stepped away.

"I know…you're ashamed,"

Jack turned over on his side. His cheeks were red and had pillow marks on them.

It was dangerous to trust a stranger to stay over her room, but judging how Jack treated her earlier she would give him the benefit of the doubt. Kate crawled in her sleeping bag and slept facing Jack. She trusted him enough, but not to the point where she could sleep with her back towards him.

Kate closed her eyes. She was beyond ready to put tonight behind her.

"I love her smile,"

Kate sat up and looked at Jack. "Who's smile? And if you're up now you can go back to your room."

"I wanted to know her Mark,"

"I'm not Mark," Kate sighed. She vaguely remember seeing Mark Silverman's name on the door, Mark was Jack's roommate. "My name is Kate," She realized that it was hopeless to talk to him in his current state so Kate laid back down.

"That girl you were talking about…Kate,"

Kate sat up and looked at Jack surprised. Did he hear her?

"She's beautiful,"

That's the last thing Jack said before his snores filled the room.


	3. Vanilla & Cologne

AN: As always thanks so much for the reviews on last chapter. Also it means the world that a lot of you guys came back to review for the second chapter and I really appreciated that. With everything that's going on with the show I know that some people might not be interested in reading jate, or even writing it anymore. Shakes head I thought about giving up this story, but I really do enjoy writing it so I changed my mind. I just hope that ya'll will stick with me, because if the readers lose interest there's not really any point in continuing this, but I hope that's not the case. Anyways I added something extra in this chapter for you guys, a little 'close jate interaction' I hope you enjoy! And thanks again for being such awesome readers and reviewers:)

Chapter 3- Vanilla & Cologne

. Sometimes Jack wondered if he was invisible to her. She seemed to be everywhere he was. When he washed his laundry she ran into him crying, and he wanted to comfort her. God, he wanted so badly to reach out and wrap her in his arms. Wrap her up in his arms and promise her that everything would be okay. Jack wanted to protect her. He wanted to keep her safe in his arms but before he could do that she had to let him in.

Kate Austen was a beautiful girl and she was mysterious as well. A smile formed on his face at the mere thought about Kate. Although, they hadn't spoken before today he always saw her. On Tuesdays and Thursdays she had an afternoon class, so she always got back to Amherst Hall at five. During that time Jack was usually playing Frisbee with Mark, obviously not for the Frisbee but for the chance to get a glimpse of Kate.

The way she made him feel made Jack feel uneasy at times. He had often thought about falling in love with some girl, getting married, and having kids, but that wasn't until he was like 30 or something. Then he comes to Haven and all of a sudden is thinking about a girl that he wouldn't mind settling down with. That scared him. Kate had so much power over him but she was still a stranger. Jack wondered if he could blame this on Christian to. Blaming didn't make him feel better about himself but it did help give reason to why he was this way. Jack buried his face deeper into his pillow. It was unusually thin.

Jack hated thin pillows so he never brought them. Maybe his hangover was just keeping him from getting comfortable. Jack winced through closed eyes. Now he really did need some advil. Jack opened his eyes. Something smelled really good. A scent that he could only describe as _girl_ in his current state. Jack remembered drinking at least six beers at Haven point. Now that he wasn't feeling as low he regretted drinking six beers. There was better ways to deal with his father, and drinking only made him feel like Christian's son more than ever. From now on Jack was going to have to be more cautious about solving his problems.

He inhaled the sweet scent once more. Jack pressed his nose deeper into the pillow. It smelled like vanilla. He smiled to himself. Jack had always imagined that Kate would smell like vanilla, at least her hair would. Here he was going on a 'Kate tangent' again. Jack looked around his room. After a couple seconds his eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room and he sat up surprised. This was not his dorm room.

Jack swallowed. If he slept with someone last night this was probably her room. Jack checked to see if his pants were still on. They were. He didn't have sex then. Jack swung his legs over the bed. He paused for a second because of the intense throbbing in his head. Jack stood up. Whoever the bed belonged to wasn't in the room with him. Jack decided that it would probably be best if he didn't stick around. His shirt was missing. Where was it?

Thinking he was alone Jack searched around for a light switch. He trudged t towards the door and flipped on the switch. Bright fluorescent light suddenly filled the room. Jack placed his hands over his eyes. The light was way too bright. He massaged his temples hoping to ease the pain, but of course that didn't do the effect. That was what he deserved for drinking alone so pathetically. Jack dropped his hand down to his side as he searched around for his button down shirt. As he walked across the room he noticed a sleeping bag camped next to the other twin bed in the room. He suddenly felt guilty. Jack couldn't remember much of what happened before winding up in the bed of 'the good smelling girl.' But he couldn't help but to wonder if that was her. Jack clenched his jaw in difficulty. Why would someone give up there bed and sleep on the floor for him.

Oh god was he in Amber's room. Jack looked around with wide eyes, he was relieved to see posters of Justin Timberlake, and John Legend on the opposite side of the room. Amber's room was covered with shirtless guys. This was not her room. Jack spotted his shirt resting next to the vent. He picked it up and then put it on. The shirt reeked of alcohol mixed in with cologne. Jack wrinkled his nose as he buttoned the shirt. He glanced at the sleeping bag once more. Whoever was in there probably deserved a thank you from him. Jack frowned. Or maybe it was better this way that he just left without saying anything in order to avoid possible humiliation.

Just as Jack was about to head out he heard what sounded like a scream. Jack turned around suddenly scared to death. There was silence and the sleeping bag remained still. The scream had been so sudden that Jack had unknowingly placed his hand to his heart. Was he hearing things now? Jack reached for the doorknob, his back was still turned towards the door as he watched the sleeping bag.

She screamed again.

What the hell was going on? Jack watched in horror as she started to struggle. Jack wasn't sure what to do but he ran over to the sleeping bag anyways. Maybe she couldn't breathe, or was having some kind of attack. Without thinking twice Jack unzipped the sleeping bag. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins just because he didn't know what the heck was going on. He just kept telling himself that he had to help her even if she was just dreaming. Jack couldn't leave her like this.

Jack looked back at the face in front of him in shock. She was obviously dreaming. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and the most pained look was stretched across her face. Her lips quivered. Jack wasn't sure what to do, or what to think. Kate Austen slept in front of him. Well she wasn't sleeping now, but he guessed having a horrible nightmare. Jack reached out to touch her shoulder to wake her and then he stopped.

He didn't want to scare her. After all he wasn't even positive if she knew that he was in the room. Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes as he looked at her. Her wild chocolate curls covered her face and her mouth was partially parted showcasing her adorable set of teeth. Jack was ashamed how lovesick he sounded even in his own thoughts.

Kate suddenly started to scream again.

Jack snapped out of it. He had to wake her up. Just as he placed his hand on her shoulder she smacked it away. Her arms were moving around wildly now and she was desperately fighting with the air. Jack had to try to hold her arms in order to keep her from hitting him. For some reason he felt guilty about being the one to wake her. Jack didn't want to force himself on her and he felt like he was. Waking up in her room, and now waking her up from some horrible dream.

She stopped struggling after a while.

Jack was holding her wrists. Her hand was pressed up against his chest in a balled fist. "You were just dreaming," He whispered. Jack couldn't help but to wonder what she was dreaming about. He figured that it was best to leave now. By some miracle Kate hadn't waken up after all that. She was still asleep. Jack smiled down at her. "It's okay,"

He hoped that when he left she wouldn't have that nightmare anymore. Jack made a move to stand up but Kate reached out. He took in a deep breath when she linked her hands in his. Once again he was caught off guard. Jack glanced at Kate to see if she was awake now but her eyes were still closed. He couldn't pull his hand out of hers, because he wanted to stay for at least one minute to make sure she was okay.

"Stay," She murmured.

Her hand crawled up his arm sending shivers through his body. Jack's eyes widened as Kate placed her hand underneath his chin. She obviously thought he was someone else. Or at least that's what he assumed. Jack couldn't understand why Kate was so calm now after being so worked up earlier. Kate was bringing his face closer. Jack placed his right hand on the carpet in order to keep himself from falling onto her. What was she doing? Jack looked around in surprise.

He felt wrong for letting her touch him like this. Kate obviously wasn't completely in control. Jack opened his mouth to say her name once more but before he could speak his lips grazed hers.

This was so wrong.

Jack was about to pull away but before he could Kate placed her hands on his face. His mouth opened but before any words could come out Kate kissed him. All reason went out the window at that moment. Whether she was dreaming or not Jack suddenly didn't care. Kate stroked his face with her fingers as she pressed her mouth harder against his. Jack was starting to believe that he was the one dreaming.

He was now convinced. This wasn't real. It was all a dream.

Kate placed her hand behind his head keeping him from breaking their lip lock. Jack slowly closed his eyes. If this was a dream then he didn't want to wake up. Kate's lips were soft and welcoming. His nose was pressed against her skin, she smelled like vanilla.

Their lips danced a forbidden dance.

Jack couldn't break away. Even in his own dream he couldn't touch her. Not Kate. Kissing her made him feel weak and senseless. Kate had some kind of spell on him. Whenever he looked at her the world stopped and only for her he would ignore all reason. If only she let him get to know her.

Jack feared that he sounded obsessed.

Kate stopped kissing him and her hands dropped back down to her sides.

Jack lingered over her angelic face. She was breathing in and out slowly and he was close enough that his lips still touched hers. Jack wanted to steal a thousand more kisses but he reminded himself that he couldn't. He leaned away and pinched his arm.

Jack blinked. He was awake.

Kate still slept in front of him. Shit he was really in her room. The reality of what had just happened hit him like a train. It was probably best that he left now. Kate had just kissed him, and he was positive that she thought he was someone else. Jack quickly stood up he wanted to stay with her all night just to make sure that she was okay. But he couldn't. Jack practically ran to the door. On his way out he turned around and glanced at Kate. He felt weird. Happy that Kate had kissed him, but at the same time he regretted allowing it to go that far.

If Kate didn't like him now then Jack feared that she would avoid him like the plague if she remembered kissing him. For his sake Jack hoped that Kate would continue to think that he was whoever she imagined in her dream. As Jack walked unsteadily back to his room he reflected on the kiss.

He had been kissed plenty of times but no kiss was like that. Jack was surprised to see that his room door was open. He could still taste Kate's lips. She was wearing some kind of lip gloss that tasted like watermelon. Jack placed his hand against the wall because he needed a couple of second to take recoup. It was still a mystery to him how he ended up in Kate's room.

Jack took his shirt off once again and draped it on the back of his computer chair. Remembering that his door was open Jack went to close the door. Why was the door open in the first place? He looked around for Mark. Jack smiled at the sight of Mark passed out on his bed with his shoes on and a trashcan next to his face.

"Thursdays," Jack muttered to himself.

Loud rock music filtered through the thin walls. Someone was getting lucky Jack thought to himself with a smirk. Once he was stripped down to his boxers Jack crawled into the safety of his own bed. Being in his own bed made him want to go back to Kate's dorm and make sure she got into her own bed. But he couldn't do that. Jack couldn't go back.

When he closed his eyes he saw her. Jack's cheeks flushed with warmth. He would make sense of tonight in the morning but right now he was throwing all sense out of the window. Circumstances aside he kissed Kate. For now he would focus on that and sort through everything else in the morning. Jack couldn't help but to smile foolishly. He was certain that he had officially gone crazy. The men in white suits would be coming any day to take him away to a padded room, because he was in love.

* * *

_15 minutes before_

_Kate's eyes opened in horror when she saw Wayne standing over her. _

_"You thought coming here would erase everything didn't you?" He barked. _

_Kate tried to run but Wayne was too fast. He lunged forward with both hands and pinned Kate against the bed with his knee. Wayne glared back at her as he wrapped his hands around her neck. Kate tried to scream but she couldn't. _

_He tightened his grip. "You're a selfish little bitch you know that…"_

_Kate kneed him in the stomach but it had little effect. A tear slid down her cheek as she struggled to pry Wayne's hands from around her neck. She felt sickened just by looking at him. He snickered sinisterly and then brought his face closer._

_"You think you're so tough huh, well who has the upper hand now little girl. You can't run from me…because whether you like it or not, I'm you."_

_A chocked sob escaped Kate's mouth as she felt herself start to grow light headed. She struggled some more with Wayne, but she was too weak. He was stronger than her, Kate couldn't fight him. _

_"Whether you like it or not Sam ain't your daddy, I am."_

_She was now fading in and out of consciousness. Death was so close. Wayne was slipping away with all of her pain. Kate stopped fighting and allowed herself to succumb into death's grasp. At least in death she could escape this life. This shame filled life where her real father was an abusive drunk that abused both her and her mother. Wayne was right she couldn't run away. Even in Massachusetts he would always be there haunting all of her thoughts._

_His blood was in her, his filthy, disgusting blood. _

"Kate,"

_She was suddenly somewhere else. Her dorm room had disappeared and now she was in a barn. It was raining outside so her clothes were soaked and her hair hung in dripping ringlets in her face. She was still crying and shaking violently. Her name was called again and then Kate felt a pair of hands on her shoulders._

_She screamed and tried to fight back but he turned her around. It was Tom. Kate collapsed into his arms. She was sobbing hysterically and he was trying to calm her. But she couldn't be called. Tom wrapped her tightly in his arms and rested his cheek against hers._

_He said things to make her feel better but of course nothing helped. As Kate leaned away she could see the tears in his eyes. She didn't want Tom to go through all of this because of her. Kate tried to leave but Tom grabbed her wrist gently. _

_"You're not going back there tonight,"_

_Kate's lips quivered as she looked at Tom. She wanted to feel safe, she needed to. Or else she was going to go crazy. "Let me go Tom…just…"_

_"I'm going to call the cops, he is not going to do this to you anymore."_

_"Tom!" Kate screamed. She grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him back towards her. Kate squeezed her eyes shut. "You can't do that,"_

_"Look at you Kate! Look at you," Tom cupped Kate's chin in his hand. "I refuse to just stand by and let him do this to you. Someone has to do something and I'm going to…"_

_"He'll kill her!" Kate cried clutching onto Tom's shirt._

_"He won't."_

_Kate stared at Tom with tear filled eyes. Wayne had threatened to kill her mom if she so much as dared to go to the cops. Kate would rather him hurt her. She wanted to protect her mom but it was becoming painfully obvious that she couldn't. Kate could see the concern in Tom's eyes. It sickened her to do this, but she had too. _

_She had to. _

_Kate placed her hands on Tom's face. It broke her heart to look into his sad eyes. She loved him, god, did she love him. He was the most caring guy that she had ever met. In order to silence him Kate brought her lips closer._

_She kissed Tom for safety. She needed him to keep him quiet until she figured out what to do about Wayne. If Tom called the cops then Wayne would get off, he always did, because her mom lied. _

_Tom didn't pull away as Kate placed her hand behind Tom's head._

"You were just dreaming," he said.

Kate's eyes slowly opened. The barn was gone and she was back in her room. Someone was kissing her. It wasn't Tom. She was startled to see Jack. His eyes were closed and he was kissing her. Kate dropped her hands from behind his head. She didn't want to be too obvious because there was no way she was going to explain anything to him. Within seconds Kate had put two and two together. She had an episode and Jack just so happened to be there when she did. As convincingly as she could Kate pretended to fall back into a deep sleep. Jack's soft lips still lingered on hers, and his stubble tickled her skin.

She was ashamed. Actually beyond ashamed. She was mortified.

Kate wanted to crawl up in a ball and just cry. How could she kiss Jack? Now he definitely had to think that she was crazy. He didn't leave right away for some odd reason he stayed. Kate wasn't sure why. After what seemed like thirty minutes Jack got up, the door opened, there was a pause, and then he closed the door.

Kate remained in the same position for three minutes and then she sat up. She shook her head. She kissed Jack. Kate felt as if she should go over to his dorm and offer him an apology, but she couldn't, and she wouldn't. If Kate apologized to him then she would have to explain what happened.

No one knew about her life back home and she preferred to keep it that way. Kate shamefully brought the sleeping bag underneath her bed. Right now she wanted to leave Haven. Take the bus to some new place, so she could start over again. Kate tucked her thick hair behind her ears as she sat back down on her bed.

If only she could wake up and this would all go away. The imprint of Jack's body still remained on her sheets. Kate swallowed. She needed to go back to sleep so for at least three hours she could forget about this. Kate knew that she was fooling herself, but right now any reality other than the truth sounded welcoming.

Kate laid down on her bed without bothering to change the sheets. At this point she didn't care. Jack's cologne lingered. Kate closed her eyes. She doubted that she would be able to fall asleep because Wayne might invade her dreams again or Tom. Kate didn't want to dream anymore, she just wanted to sleep.

As she closed her eyes tears started to fall again.

Jack had stayed with her.

Kate opened her eyes. She didn't want to be this lonely. If only Tom hadn't broken things off with her the she could still have her dreams. Those far away fairytales that allowed her to successfully escape Iowa, and start over.

Kate wished that she hadn't kissed Jack because he made her feel safe. Even though she didn't know him she trusted him. It was his eyes. Those big caring hazel eyes.

Realizing that she was pathetic enough to seek comfort in the first guy that showed some interest in her Kate got up. She wasn't going to allow herself to be this sad. Kate stripped the bed. She was going to change the sheets.

* * *

"Kate, you have class in an hour,"

"What Jack?" Kate murmured sleepily.

"Jack? Kate hon, it's me Lauren. You're roommate remember,"

Kate opened her eyes and looked around in confusion. Light filtered in through the window. "Oh god, what time is it!" She shot out of bed and made a dash towards her closet.

"It's seven Kate, calm down you still have time before your eight o' clock," Lauren sat at her desk with a book in front of her. "You called me Jack,"

"Did I?" Kate asked. She scowled at the thought of what happened last night. It had seemed so far away until now. Kate grabbed a sweater. She still felt miserable. "Did you have fun last night?"

Lauren nodded. She trailed her hands through her jet black hair and then occupied her attention with searching for spilt ends. "Jamie, Jordan and I went to Boston so we could party at Fantasy."

"Sounds fun," Kate said absently. She glanced at the clock debating if she had enough time for a shower. Kate pulled on the sweater. She would just take a shower after class. As of now she was in a rush to get out of the room because Kate knew that Lauren would ask about Tom.

"Did your boyfriend bring his cologne and just spray it all over the room. Kate he smells good." Lauren laughed. "You're going to have to forgive me I'm working on an hour of sleep here. So how was he?"

"Fine," Kate answered.

Lauren raised an eyebrow. She stared back at Kate curiously but didn't ask any questions. Instead Lauren adjusted the yellow scarf that was tied around her dark hair and then got up. "Did you want to grab some breakfast at the diner before class?"

Kate nodded, "Sure," she smiled encouragingly back at her roommate. Kate grabbed her toothbrush and paste. "Let me just brush my teeth first and then we can go okay,"

"Sure," Lauren spotted something on the floor. She bent down to pick it up and then glanced at it. "Jack Shephard?"

Kate turned around with wide eyes. The morning after kissing Jack she felt guiltier than ever. Up until last night she thought she had did a good job of masking who she really was. Kate glanced at the card in Lauren's hand.

Lauren handed the card to Kate. "No questions asked."

"He was um…helping me edit an English paper." Kate lied. She was a good liar, but Kate was pretty sure that Lauren was unconvinced. Kate closed her eyes. She could tell Lauren something, but she would pick and choose what she divulged. "Okay…Jack slept over here tonight."

Lauren gasped, "Girl, you slep…"

"No, not like that!" Kate exclaimed.

Lauren looked a little let down. "He's cute, but anyways how did he get in here?"

Kate knew that eventually the conversation would get to Tom. "Jack was passed out in the hallway and Hermes was on duty. He would've got in trouble if I didn't bring him in here," Kate looked back at Lauren as she waited for her response.

"That's sweet of you. I honestly would've probably left him there," Lauren made a guilty face. "Where did he go?"

_I chased him away_. Kate thought.

Kate turned Jack's card over in her hand. Now she had to give this back to him. She was not looking forward to it. How awkward was this going to be. "I guess he woke up in the morning and left."

* * *

"Any luck last night Jack?" Mark asked from his bed.

Jack looked up from his sneakers which he was tying. "No, but I wasn't looking for luck," Now that it was morning Jack still wasn't sure what to make of last night. He had almost slipped what happened to Mark five times now. "What about you?"

"The sorority girls left before I got there, so all that was left was uglies."

Jack snickered, "I'm sure that wasn't the case." He was glad that his headache had subdued and the sensitivity to light was starting to wear off. Jack grabbed his book bag and slung it over his shoulder. "You're not going to classes?"

Mark shook his head as he pointed the remote at the television. "Jack could you do me a favor?"

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Sure,"

"Would you mind moving to the side so I could turn to Jerry Springer?"

"Seriously,"

Mark nodded. "Hey, I don't say anything when you watch cartoons."

"Of course you don't because you're watching them with me." Jack stepped to the side so Mark could turn the channel. "Besides cartoons are good for relieving stress," Mark was tuning him out now so Jack decided to leave.

"Bro, what time do your classes finish today?"

"Three, but I might skip the last one, so I could be finished at two, why?"

"Would you mind passing by the diner and getting me a quesadilla with cheese, steak, green peppers…"

"Mark, how about when I come back we both go to the diner,"

"I feel like shit could you please just get me a quesadilla, oh and a drink on your way back, dude I would do it for you."

Jack sighed, "I'm going to class,"

On his way out Mark yelled, "Don't forget the quesadilla and soda!"

Jack closed the door behind him and glanced down the hall towards Kate's room. He wondered if she was awake, and if she was did she remember kissing him. Jack placed his hands to his mouth. He assumed that if she remembered then she would rather forget. Jack couldn't blame her if that turned out to be the case.

But he hoped that she wouldn't forget.

* * *

Lauren smothered her bagel with cream cheese and took a bite. Across from her Kate sat with her thumb pressed against her teeth in thought and a far away expression. "What's wrong Kate?"

"Nothing," Kate answered. She picked up her fork and stabbed at a chunk of pineapple and tossed it into her mouth. How the hell was she supposed to avoid Jack when she had his ID card? This really sucked. Kate scowled to herself as she thought about what she would say.

_"Yeah Jack, I really didn't mean to kiss you last night, but anyways here's your ID card back,"_

That wouldn't work. What could she say to Jack that could justify her actions?

"You can give him his card back now," Lauren suggested.

Kate looked into her roommate's dark brown eyes in horror. Jack was at the diner? She expected to be able to avoid him since next to no one grabbed breakfast before eight o' clocks. Oh mi god. Kate placed her hands to her face and sunk down in her seat. She couldn't face Jack right now.

"He keeps looking over here," Lauren pointed out. "He likes you."

"Wh…What?" Kate removed one of her hands from her face and stared back at Lauren as if she was crazy. "He doesn't even know me."

"Just an assumption from observing. Are you sure that Jack was just helping you with an English paper?"

"I have a boyfriend," Kate pointed out. She would allow Lauren to believe that she was still dating Tom just so wouldn't have to talk about it. Now she had to come up with a reason to explain why Tom _allowed_ Jack to sleep over. "He was in a um…accident."

"Oh no, he's okay right." Lauren asked concerned.

Kate looked away. She felt horrible for lying but she wasn't ready to tell anyone that Tom had dumped her. It was best to keep it repressed somewhere deep down. "He couldn't make it so I started working on my paper, the door was open and Jack came in."

For some reason it was hard to lie to Lauren.

"Uh huh." Lauren replied as she took a sip of her iced tea. "You know I had a crush on Jack at the beginning of the semester."

"We're still at the beginning of the semester," Kate pointed out.

"Well I mean like first day. When I was moving in everything with my parents Jack offered to help."

Kate sat up a little in her chair. "Well that's sweet."

"Yeah, and the fact that he's hot doesn't hurt either. What do you think about him?"

Kate couldn't believe that Lauren had just asked her that. She thought about lying again and saying that Jack was okay. After all he had been around to witness all of her lowest moments. Jack was cute, but she wasn't admitting that aloud.

It just felt wrong to even think that way and Kate wasn't sure why.

"He has nice lips too. Imagine how it would be to kiss him." Lauren giggled and then passed Kate a 'what do you think' look.

At this point Kate couldn't tell if Lauren was serious or just fishing for information on her thoughts on Jack. Either way she was keeping her mouth shut. Lauren didn't have to know that she kissed Jack last night by accident.

_He did have nice lips._

But that was besides this point because that didn't matter. All that mattered now was giving Jack his ID card back without having to explain a thing. If she was going to do it then now was probably the best time. Kate forced herself up. She couldn't help but to wonder how Jack would react when she went over to him. "I'll be back," Kate directed to Lauren.

She nodded and watched Kate with a smile. "It's okay to like him,"

"I don't like him," That was the truth. Kate didn't know enough about Jack to like him. Kate peered around the sparsely crowded dining room. She bit her lip when she spotted Jack sitting alone by the window. His head was buried in a book and he was furiously scribbling something down. Probably homework for his eight o'clock. Kate took his ID card out of her pocket so there would be no delay when she approached him. She would give him his card and get out of there.

Jack looked up.

Shit. Kate tried to look elsewhere but yet her eyes remained focused on Jack's. He smiled slightly.

She couldn't do this. Not only had she kissed him, but Kate assumed that she had said things to him. Things that no one else knew at Haven University but her. Jack's smile was welcoming. He obviously didn't think she was insane for stealing a kiss the other night. Kate couldn't understand why though. She wanted to run but she didn't.

"You left your card," Kate handed it to him.

"Thanks Kate,"

"You're welcome," There was nothing else to be said so Kate turned around and started to walk back to her table. She wasn't going to apologize, she couldn't.

"By the way…" Jack called out quickly.

Even though she didn't want to stop Kate did anyway.

"I don't remember what happened before I got in your room but I'm assuming that you let me stay there, at least I hope you did."

"It's no problem," Kate said.

Jack nodded because he could see that Kate was in a rush to go back to her table. "Thank you for looking out for me."

You're welcome Jack," Kate glanced over her shoulder at him and then gave him a brief smile. He really was grateful. Kate sat back down across from Lauren again.

"So…" Lauren ushered.

"I gave him back his ID card and nothing happened," Kate shrugged.

"He's looking over here again."

"He is?"

"And he's smiling, how cute." Lauren cooed as she tapped Kate's wrist. "I think Jack likes Kate,"

"He doesn't,"

"Well that's open for discussion," Lauren adjusted her scarf once more and then grabbed her tray. "I have to get to Benjamin Hall all the way across campus so I better start hiking now, see ya later honey."

"Bye Lauren," Kate replied waving at her roommate as she walked away. Jack didn't like her. Kate knew that. After all he just met her, no one falls in love with strangers at least she didn't. Lauren was a romantic, always reading those cheesy Harlequin novels, and writing love stories, so of course she would _assume_ that Jack liked her. The thought was almost laughable. Jack didn't like her, he just didn't.


	4. Into you like a Train

AN: Thank you so much guys for the reviews last chapter. Reading them really makes my day:) Here's another chapter for ya'll, I really should be studying or something, but I enjoy writing this story a little too much, and I also wanted to give you guys a new chapter since ya'll have been amazingly supportive on this story. I have finals coming up so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update next, but I will work on it ASAP, along with my other stories, Fragile, Slow Heat & Lost Hearts. I haven't forgotten about Lost Hearts, **Marisa**. Thank you for giving this AU a chance **Jater, **and after that last episode of Lost my 'Jate faith' was restored **Kate x**, so don't worry guys I'll keep writing the Jate as long as ya'll keep reading the Jate lol. Once again if anyone has any questions at all regarding this story feel free to ask and I promise I'll answer through the 'reply message' feature. Thanks to **Sonia** for betaing this…and no more rambling from me. Here's the next chapter, hope ya'll enjoy…

* * *

Chapter 4- Into you like a Train 

"Dude, whose bra and panties was that taped to our door?" Mark asked through a fit of laughter as he stepped into the room with Jack.

Jack who had been sleeping yawned tiredly and then placed his hands to the bridge of his nose. He peeked open an eyelid to glance at Mark who was pointing to something outside. The television was on full blast and MTV was playing in the background. Jack had been watching mindlessly while catching up on his reading for English 101. As Jack sat up he looked down at the thick novel that had unmercifully put him to sleep with the strength of a sedative. He groaned and then pushed it onto the floor. Of course when he tried to be productive on a Friday night he fell asleep. Jack pulled his tangled covers from around his legs and then placed his feet on the floor.

When he had started reading it had been around four. Jack reached on his desk tiredly, knocking down paper cups and a few worksheets as he checked his alarm clock. Jack scowled when he realized that it was six now.

"Don't tell me that you don't know about the bra and panties," Mark replied as he sat down a bag of food on his desk. "Get up man, come look." He had a wide grin on his face as he tugged at Jack's arm.

Jack pulled his arm from Mark's grasp and stood up. "What are you talking about, bra and panties?"

"This," Mark motioned towards the door.

Jack's mouth dropped open in surprise and then he laughed a little because he couldn't believe his eyes. On his door was a bra, a black lacy one, and mismatching panties, they were red. And his memo board someone had scribbled. _"Jack Shephard is the best damn lay at Haven University." _

Jack promptly erased the message along with a few other suggestive ones. For some reason he didn't want Kate to see that.

"Hey, some girl is leaving you her undergarments and calling you the 'best lay' in the school, you should've kept that up there." Mark strolled back into the room. "Who do you think wrote that?"

Jack shrugged as he removed the tape and then the panties and bra. "It was probably Amber, just seems like something she would do." He playfully tossed the underwear onto Mark's bed.

"I don't know where that's been!" Mark exclaimed flinging the panties back at Jack. "Especially if it's Amber's panties, because you know that girl has been around the block a couple of times."

Jack shook his head, "Whoever she is, I hope she comes back for these soon because I have no use for them."

Mark turned down the television as he sat down at his computer chair. "I never thought it was going to come to this, but dude I'm seriously starting to get desperate. How long have we been here, and how many girls have I slept with."

"There is more to college than sex." Jack said honestly even though he knew he couldn't talk. .

"Yeah, you can say that with a straight because all the girls at this school practically fall into your hands like your some sex god or something…"

"Sex god?" Jack snorted. "Are you kidding me?"

Mark made a face, "Yeah, that was a bit much. But still. The girls come out of the woodworks for you." He reached in his bag and pulled out a plate of nachos from the diner. "What are you doing that I'm not?"

"Well first of all I'm single." Jack sat back down on his bed and relaxed his back against the wall. "I don't have the guilt of having a girlfriend back at home. But you're going to catch up to me soon because my wild days are over."

"I am not guilty over Leah, and what do you mean your wild days are over?" Mark said referring to his girlfriend back home in California.

"I'm slowing down, and trying to avoid drunken nights every Wednesday-Friday, and the random girls." Jack responded.

"Why? Sounds like you're the one with girlfriend now, dude,"

Jack shook his head, "Okay, change of subject, what are you doing tonight?"

"Partying like it's 1999" Mark smiled.

"Again?"

"Well it is Friday, there isn't much else to do around here." Mark popped open a can of soda and took a swig. "Maybe you're right, I like Leah and all, but she might be holding me back."

Jack started to zone off as Mark discussed the reasons why it made sense to end his long-term relationship with his girlfriend, even though it was so hard. He cared about his friend but Mark had a habit of talking in circles at times, and making the simplest decisions more difficult than it needed to be. The bottom line was that Mark was in a relationship now, and that made everything complicated..

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her right?"

Was he waiting for an answer? Jack glanced at Mark with a blank expression. "I'm not a saint by any means but you know what I'm going to say to that. If I was in a relationship then I wouldn't have fooled around with most…well all of those girls." Jack blushed. It sounded weird voicing his drunken 'dirty deeds.'

"You were such a slut." Mark laughed obnoxiously. "Our first week at this school and you were racking in the girls."

"I don't remember," Jack replied quickly.

"I remember Pamela, Taylor, Carla…um…" Mark started counting off on his hands. "And after Carla I forgot the rest."

Jack shook his head, "I got caught up in the whole college scene, the freedom of it all. That's my excuse."

Mark smiled, "I just wish I had your confidence."

"I don't have confidence," Jack directed in Mark's direction. "You know that when I'm drunk I turn into someone else…it's like I'm two different people." Jack clenched his jaw. "Which is one of the main reasons why I don't want to go out partying that much anymore."

"Are you coming with Joshua, Tyler and I to the concert at the union?"

"Probably not," Jack picked back up his literature book. "I'm probably going to stay here and be a good boy tonight. I think I could get in a little less trouble with _Macbeth_ than at a rock concert with those guys."

"Are you seriously going to read _Macbeth _on a Friday? That should be like a sin or something. _Macbeth_?"

"No, what should be a sin is to have a C- in English 101. I had straight A's up until I came here, at the beginning of the semester I lost my mind a little and now I'm trying to get everything together. I don't want to spend my Friday reading _Macbeth_, but I have a paper due on Monday."

Mark thought over Jack's argument, "Well can't you just read it on Saturday?"

"I could…but no, I want to get this over with." Jack winced as he opened the text book once again. "Have fun with those guys."

"They'll probably be stoned before the band starts performing. You sure you don't want to go Jack?"

Jack nodded, "Yeah, I don't think it's the best idea to get wasted tonight."

"Well if you change your mind then we'll be at the union." Mark crumpled up the remaining food and tossed it into his trashcan. "You nearly sold me the idea of staying here and salvaging my grades, but its Friday, I just can't."

As Jack started to read once again he felt his eyelids start to grow heavy. _Macbeth _was going to put him to sleep again. Jack closed the book and stood up. He figured that if he took a hot shower, and picked up some dinner to bring back to his dorm then he would be better suited to stay up. Jack grabbed his Haven University Bears sweater and pulled it over his tee-shirt. "I'm going to get some food,"

"I'll probably be gone by the time you get back," Mark opened his closet and pulled out a tee-shirt and jeans. "Behave yourself tonight, because we both know how dangerous _Macbeth_ can be,"

Jack rolled his eyes, "When I get an A on my paper it'll be worth it in the end. There will be other parties to go to," Jack opened the door and was surprised to see Amber staring back at him with wide blue eyes. Her hand was raised as if she was getting ready to knock. "Hey," He said in a monotone.

"Hey Jack," She said sweetly.

Jack shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He just nodded because Amber wasn't saying anything, and since she came to visit him he didn't see why he had to be the one to initiate conversation. "Is there anything you need?"

"My bra and panties would be nice," She giggled and then covered her mouth as she looked down. "My friends thought it would be a great idea to tape them to your door. I don't know what the hell is wrong with them."

"I don't either," Jack disappeared back into his room and returned seconds later with Amber's undergarments. "You're friends obviously don't have anything better to do."

"Why are you being so snappy with me?"

Jack stared back at Amber in silence and then looked down the hall towards Kate's dorm. He wasn't sure how to explain to Amber that he was trying to get his act together. "I'm just not in the mood for games that's all."

Amber nodded, "I understand I guess," She tucked her bra and panties in her oversized purse. "There is some rock concert at the student union, it's some local band, but word around campus is that they're good, wanna come with?"

"No, I have a thing," Jack stammered.

"A thing?" Amber asked in confusion.

He wasn't going to admit to anyone else but Mark that he planned on spending his Friday inside with a Shakespeare novel.

Amber placed her hand on Jack's chest and then teasingly dug her fingernails into the fabric of his sweater. "I hope you're still not mad at me,"

"No," Jack said. He watched from the corner of his eye as the door opened down the hall. Jack was distracted by Kate walking towards him. He wanted to say hi to her, but he wasn't sure if she would say hi back. Just as he was about to open his mouth Amber stroked his cheek. Jack snapped out of his haze and looked back at Amber in irritation. Kate walked by without a word.

"Why were you looking at that girl like that?"

Amber was obviously jealous but Jack could see that she was trying to hide it. Instead of answering Amber he brushed past her and started walking towards the door. Kate didn't even look his way. As he suspected Amber followed after him. "Jack Christian Shephard," She sang playfully.

Jack whirled around in anger and shock. "What?"

Amber placed her hand to her heart and smiled in surprise at how red Jack's face had gotten. "Hon, I was just kidding. I figured I'd get your attention by calling you by your middle name."

"You did get my attention," Jack turned away as a dark shadow lowered over his face. "Don't call me by my full name, my name is Jack," It felt elementary to reiterate that point but Amber didn't know about his relationship with his father, and besides he wasn't even sure how she found out his middle name.

"Okay," Amber held up her hands in mock surrender. "I have a feeling that you hate me right now so I'm just going to leave you alone,"

"I don't hate you," Jack said truthfully.

"But you don't like me either," Amber pouted and crossed her arms. "My girls told me not to fall in love with you,"

Jack smirked in disbelief. Was she kidding? Fall in love with him, how could she when she barely even knew him. Kate suddenly flashed into his mind. Jack looked down, so they both were crazy. He was finished with this conversation. Jack turned around to walk away but Amber grabbed his arm. "I'm trying to get to the diner before it closes for the night,"

"I'm not in love with you Jack,"

Jack nodded, "Good to know, now if you will let me go then…" Jack tried to ease his arm out of Amber's grasp without being too forceful.

"But if you gave me a chance then I could love you," Amber smiled to herself. "I sound ridiculous I know that, but my attraction to you goes deeper than just sex Jack,"

"The diner is going to close soon," Jack used his other hand to pry Amber's fingers from around his wrist with gentle ease. He felt as if he should suggest that they talk about it later, but he didn't want to do that. "I'll see you around Amber,"

"Fine Jack, go to the diner, I'll leave you alone."

Jack felt the slightest bit of guilt as he walked towards the staircase leaving Amber standing behind him.

* * *

Kate closed the door behind her. She had seen Jack outside talking to some girl, and she was touching his face; maybe that girl was his girlfriend. The thought of Jack being linked to someone else made Kate feel slightly uneasy. It wasn't jealousy because she barely knew anything about Jack to care if he was in a relationship or not, but yet still she felt weird. Kate pulled off her diner cap and placed it on her desk. 

Lauren was listening to R&B music while curling her hair.

Kate stared at her roommate in surprise. She figured that it was okay to push her problems aside for the time being and focus on Lauren. Lauren seemed to always be in a good mood, Kate envied that. "Hot date?" She asked as cheerfully as possible.

"I wish, but he's too shy to ever ask me out," Lauren unplugged the curling iron and then placed it carefully on her desk. "How do I look?"

"Very pretty," Kate said honestly. She sat down on her bed and pulled off her sneakers. Her thick curls cascaded down her shoulders and she pushed her hair back with her hand as she sat up. "Who is he?"

Lauren smiled. "His name is Hunter,"

"I remember him," Kate replied.

"Yeah, he invited me to dinner on the pier…shy Hunter invited me to dinner," Lauren reached for a pair of hoop earrings, "Should I wear these, or…" she held up her hand and then picked up a pair of 14 karat earrings. "Which pair would look better?"

"The hoop earrings I guess,"

"Thanks Kate," Lauren put on the earrings and then fluffed her hair once more. "Someone's been calling for you all day." She pointed to Kate's cell phone which still rested on her press hooked up to her charger.

Kate reached for her cell phone which she rarely used and glanced at the screen. It was Tom. She sighed and took in a deep breath as she checked how many times he had called her. Kate bit her quivering lip when she realized that he had called six times. Her eyes were watering now.

Oh god, not now.

Kate pulled her hair forward so she could cover her eyes and then placed her cell phone back on her press. Lauren turned down her radio and sat down on the bed next to Kate.

"Lauren don't worry about me. I'm just exhausted that's all." Kate lied.

"You sure that's it sweetie?"

"Positive," Kate looked at Lauren and smiled. "You shouldn't be worrying about me anyways. Hunter will be here soon so you should finish getting ready for him."

"I am never on time. Hunter knows that so he can wait a couple of minutes for me."

Kate was slightly uncomfortable. Lauren was sweet and caring, but she wasn't used to this. Kate closed her eyes. She didn't like to share her feelings. It was best to keep everything locked inside, because that way she could hide her weaknesses, and no one outside could hurt her. Kate's hands started to shake as she thought about Tom. She placed her hand to her face as helplessness started to overtake her. Lauren was making her cry.

Kate tried to get up but for some reason she couldn't.

She wanted to carry this load on her own, but then again she didn't. How was she ever supposed to accept that Tom didn't want to be with her anymore? Kate sniffled and then turned her head to the side in embarrassment. "Lauren, Hunter will probably be here…"

"It's Tom isn't it,"

"Who?" Kate asked.

Lauren shook her head in understanding. "Tom, you're boyfriend."

"He's not my…" Kate sighed. She didn't have the will to lie anymore. "He was my boyfriend."

"You were so excited about seeing him yesterday, what happened?" Lauren asked softly.

Kate tilted her head backwards and looked up towards the ceiling. "I was…god this is so hard."  
"What is hard," Lauren asked encouragingly.

Kate looked at Lauren with tears cascading down her cheeks. "This…I'm not used to sharing my feelings. It's hard to admit…" Kate buried her face in her hands.

I'm strong. I'm strong. I'm not this weak.

Lauren placed her hand on Kate's back, "You know what. Tom is an idiot. One day he's going to look back and realize that he gave up something special…"

"I'm nothing special," Kate grunted through her closed hands.

"But you are," Lauren said. "I'm not sure what happened between you two, and I won't ask because I know this is hard for you, but Kate you have so much to offer. Maybe Tom was the love of your life, but if he makes you cry like this…then he just doesn't deserve you."

Kate wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. She wasn't ready to sit up just yet so she remained in the same position. The truth was she didn't even know why Tom dumped her. She didn't even give him a chance to explain. Once Kate was positive that she had dried her tears she sat up and stared blankly ahead. "Lauren you don't have to do this,"

"I don't, but you're my roommie, my friend, or at least I hope." She placed her hands in her lap. "If I feel like there's something I can do to help out in any way then I'm going to do it. I just want you to know that if you ever need anyone to talk to then I'm always here."

Kate closed her eyes. "I don't even know why he dumped me,"

There was a pause.

"You deserve to know, why didn't he tell you?"

"I made him leave." Kate rested her hand against her cheek. "I was acting all hysterical and I hated that…I was acting like I am now, and I went into defensive mode, I pushed him away before he could hurt me anymore than he already had." The tears were coming once again. It was like a relief to confess all of her burdens, but then again she was disgusted.

Kate didn't want to come off as this overly emotional girl anymore. She was tough, she had to be, so it was time that she got her act together. Kate stood up and walked towards her closet. "I'm fine now, thanks though Lauren."

"If he gives you some half ass excuse to why he let you go then you should move on," Lauren forced a smile, "Kate, you deserve someone that will stick by your side no matter what."

Kate sighed. She thought Tom had been that guy.

"Maybe it's the romantic in me talking, but someone who really loves you would never leave you to cry like this." Lauren tilted her head to the side. "I think you should call Tom and if not for closure then for the comfort of knowing what happened. Because you deserve the truth,"

Kate smiled sadly to herself, "Thank you Oprah,"

"You're welcome Gayle," Lauren teased jokingly referring to Oprah's best friend who frequently appeared on her show. "I know that you don't like to talk about feelings and all…so I'm sorry for making you open up to me. But I couldn't bring myself to leave the dorm until I was sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine, thanks Lauren," Kate said softly.

"I hope you're not lying to me because I will cancel with Hunter and stay in this dorm with you all night so we can talk about feelings and guys…"

"No, no, I'm good." Kate had to admit that she did feel slightly better thanks to Lauren. She glanced up at the box where all of Tom's belongings were kept away. Maybe Lauren was right and she should call him. Kate hesitated. Was she really ready to speak to him? Kate watched as Lauren fretted between high heels and flats. "Have fun with Hunter,"

"I will,"

"You like him?" Kate asked relieved to get the attention off of herself.

"He's cute, not really my type, but he's growing on me." Lauren decided on the flats. She put on the shoes and then turned around in model fashion. "I wonder if Hunter will look at me the way Jack looks at you."

"What?" Kate asked surprised. She couldn't believe that Lauren was talking about Jack again. "I'm telling you he doesn't like me,"

Lauren grinned, "It's all in the look, but I'm not going to say anymore. Call your _ex_ for piece of mind at least, and if he hurts you again then I'm going to go to Brown and kick his ass myself." She nodded and then dusted her hands off. "But one thing you can rest assured in is that if Tom does break your heart then he's just not the one for you."

Kate shrugged indifferently. "I was never big on love before him anyways, so I guess I won't really care about finding prince charming anymore."

"He's out there Kate,"

"I am not a romantic like you Lauren," Kate pointed out.

There was a knock at the door.

Kate quickly disappeared into the closet searching for something to wear for bedtime as Lauren went to get the door. Kate just wasn't in the mood to meet and greet right now. She knew that she looked just about as crappy as she felt.

Kate pulled out a tee-shirt and pajama bottoms.

"Hey Lauren," Hunter greeted.

"Hey you,"

Kate placed her clothes on her bed and waved at Hunter. She wasn't in the mood to socialize but it would be rude not to see Lauren off. Self consciously Kate tucked her unruly long curls behind her ear. Hunter looked handsome in a forest green polo, and denim jeans. He was tall, and built with light brown skin and gorgeous hazel eyes.

"I'll be back later Kate," Lauren called as she linked arms with Hunter.

"See ya Lauren, bye Hunter." Kate waved. After they had closed the door behind them Kate went to retrieve Tom's box from the closet. Kate sat down on her bed with the box still in hand. She clenched her jaw as she pulled off the top. Lauren was right, at some point she had to call Tom because she did need closure.

Tom had tried to reach her all day. What they had was special. If their relationship was over then there was nothing she could do about it, but Tom had always been her friend. Kate was going to try to put her bitterness aside for now so she could get the truth. Tom hurt her last night, but all this time he had always had her back. Kate wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and try to understand why Tom dumped her.

Of course she would be biting her tongue throughout the conversation but she knew that Tom wouldn't dump her unless he had good reason. At the moment Kate couldn't think of anything except for another girl…but in her heart she knew that Tom wasn't the type of guy to do that. He was sweet and caring and…well she didn't want to think too highly of him before calling.

Kate picked up her cell phone and just as she was about to dial Tom's number. She got a call. Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes when she looked at the screen. The number read Massachusetts. That was odd. Hesitantly she answered. "Hello?"

"Sweetheart, it's me…mom,"

* * *

Jack should've seen it coming. Friday night and _Macbeth_ the thought was almost laughable. Even though he was supposed to be reading somehow within the last hour he ended up working out. Now Jack was on the carpet in between his and Mark's bed with his arms crossed doing curl-ups. Jack was on his 50th curl up, he was taking it easy, nothing too strenuous. At the moment he just couldn't concentrate on Shakespeare or school for that matter, but later tonight he would. It was already an accomplishment that he had decided not to go out for the night. 

Jack sat up and placed his arms on his knees. For now he was done.

Amherst was quiet, on Thursdays everyone partied, but on Fridays everyone went home. Jack hated Fridays at Amherst. Since he usually went out with Mark, and some other guys so he didn't have to stomach the loneliness that surrounded him right now. He stood up and paced around his room in search of something to do. Times like these reminded him why he got wasted and brought back random girls. He didn't like feeling as useless as he did now.

Jack pulled off his shirt and tossed it into the blue laundry basket by his door. Now he wished that he had gone out tonight. Jack pulled down his black sweat pants and tossed them with the shirt. He couldn't do it. He needed to get out of his dorm. Jack turned on Mark's radio as he rummaged around for something to wear.

Jack had no idea where he was going but he just needed to get out.

He wondered what Kate was doing now. She had ignored him in the hall. Jack knew that Kate had seen him. He shook his head. Even though Kate probably didn't care either way if he was dating Amber or not, it still mattered to him. Jack smiled at his foolishness. Did he seriously think that Kate cared if he was single or not?

Well he could only hope.

Jack pulled down his boxers. After his shower he would take a ride around Haven, just to clear his mind and get some fresh air. No beer this time.

* * *

"Kate, are you still there?" 

Kate thought she had heard her wrong. "Who is this?" she stammered.

"It's me Kate, your mom, you still remember me right?"

Was this some kind of sick joke? Kate pressed the phone against her ear and rested her back against the wall for support. She wasn't sure how to react to her mom calling her out of the blue. Since she had left Iowa her mom hadn't bothered to contact her, and vise versa.

"I know that I'm probably the last person that you want to talk to right now, but I'm your mother Kate, you can't just shut me out like this."

"I never shut you out," Kate said quietly.

"We were going to bring you to Massachusetts, but you left…you left with Tom without so much as a goodbye."

Kate blinked away the tears. She thought she had her emotions under control, and then of course her mom has to call to send her right back to wear she started. Kate angrily wiped at her cheeks. A headache was starting to form with all of the crying. "You know why I left with Tom,"

"Katherine…"

"Mom,"

There was silence on the other end.

"He's not my problem anymore, he's yours."

"He is your father Kate,"

"Fuck that,"

"Katherine Anne…" Diane scolded.

"Spare me please," Kate cried as she rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. She wiped underneath her eyes once more and then hung her head. "There was only so much I could do, but when it comes down to it, I can't save you…not from him, because you don't want to be. But me…I ran,"

"He loves you Kate,"

"Stop!" Kate screamed.

"Katherine," Diane started again calmly. "During the time that you've been gone Wayne and I had sometime to talk,"

"I have to take a shower mom,"

"Your shower can hang on,"

"Bye mom,"

"Katherine!"

Kate squeezed her eyes shut and looked around her room helplessly. "What,"

"We had some time to talk and Wayne realized that he has made a lot of mistakes in the past, mistakes that we all aren't proud of. Katherine your father is not perfect by any means, and he's taking the steps to fix…"

Kate was beyond disgusted to hear her mom standing up for that man. The same man that beat them both up whenever he got a chance. Kate would fight him, but her mom never did, she just took it. And she was taking it again. How could she be so naive! So fucking stupid! Kate was crying again because she hated feeling this much loathing towards her mom…but she felt it. "Do you hear yourself? He nearly killed you…and I'm sure he still wants to. Wake the hell up mom…just…oh god, I can't do this. I'm here now…and you're there, just leave me alone. I can't do this right now…I just can't."

"We have to get through this as a family."

"My only family is Sam," Kate said.

"Sam walked out,"

"You made him," Kate retorted. Her eyes were puffy now and irritated. She was going to hang up now before she said something that she really regretted. She just needed to say goodbye. "I have to go,"

"Can you please come downstairs Kate?"

Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes. "What?"

"I knew that you wouldn't want to talk to me over the phone Katherine, so your father and I took a trip to your school so we could…"

"What!" Kate jumped up in fear. The small room suddenly started to close in on her, and a sense of panic swept over her body. Oh mi god. They were in Massachusetts, her safe place, uninvited, they were here, Wayne was here. She didn't have the time to ask if her mom was bluffing because she was already packing. Kate grabbed a duffel bag from underneath the bed and then ran to her drawer. She was pulling out clothes. She didn't have time to check and see if she had any jeans or not, just whatever she could grab.

They were here. She had to run.

Kate was out of her room in seconds. Her heart was beating rapidly and the world was a blur. The white washed walls littered with bulletin boards, and Amherst Hall social events had all mixed into an ugly blur. All she could hear was the sound of her flip flops padding against the shiny floor and her heartbeat.

Was she dreaming right now? She surely felt like it.

The door opened down the hall.

Kate stopped dead in her tracks and then the staircase door opened. No time to think, just time for action. She wasn't going to pretend as if everything was okay. She left Iowa for a reason and she was going to be damned if she would let Wayne try to convince her that he wasn't an abusive drunk, and that he really loved her mom. Before Kate could even see who was coming through the staircase door, Jack's door opened.

A blind fear had overtaken Kate and she wasn't thinking straight. She wasn't breathing or seeing, as she barreled into his room. She crashed into someone. Kate couldn't tell who it was. They were falling. It was a guy, he fell hard onto the ground and let out a grunt. Kate placed her hand on his mouth and closed the door with her foot.

"Which room is hers?" Wayne asked from outside.

Kate squeezed her eyes shut she looked backwards in terror to make sure that Jack's door was closed. It was thank god. She had to get the hell out of this school. She had too! A couple of seconds Kate realized that she was still on top of whoever she had attacked. She looked down at his face for the first time, and Kate couldn't explain the relief she felt to see that it was Jack.

He would help her, she knew it. Without having to explain a thing he would help her, because he was a nice guy.

Kate searched his hazel eyes fearfully.

"What's wrong?" He asked hoarsely after Kate took her hand off of his mouth.

Kate placed her head against his chest. What was she doing? She was just so scared. Her mom and Wayne were here, and she needed to get away. Kate was about to lift her head but Jack rubbed her back very quickly and then stopped. She had to get off of him. Kate slowly stood up and then removed her leg from in between his legs. She hoped that she didn't knee him on the way down. God, how embarrassing. Kate pulled her tangled curls out of her face as she helped Jack up. The towel that he was wearing slipped down and he pulled it back up.

Kate could see the confusion on his face. Right, she owed him some kind of explanation for her crazy behavior. Kate swallowed nervously. "I'll be out of your hair in a couple of seconds I just need…" Kate glanced over her shoulder at the door. A large picture of Jenna Jameson blocked the wooden frame. She looked away.

"That's Mark's," Jack said with a smile.

Kate stared back at him awkwardly. Why was he smiling even though she had attacked him just a couple of seconds ago. "Okay," she stammered. Didn't he want some kind of explanation?

Jack looked back at Kate curiously, "I take it you're trying to avoid someone,"

"No, I just um…" Kate frowned. How else could she explain ending up on Jack while he was on his back. She placed her hand to the side of her face. "Yes, my ex boyfriend I don't want to see him."

"This is Kate's room," Diane said from outside.

She was talking loud. Kate leaned closer to the door.

"We flew all the way from Iowa Diane, we'll just wait until she comes back,"

Kate's eyes widened. They were going to wait for her? She couldn't stay here. Kate picked up her duffel bag on the floor. "Could you give me a couple more minutes and then I'll be gone," she said to Jack.

"Who are they?"

"My aunt and uncle…I um…I lied," Kate replied. "I just don't want to see them,"

Jack looked down at the duffel bag in Kate's hand, "Where were you planning on going?"

"Anywhere they can't find me, and once again I'm sorry for all of this," Kate sighed.

"Don't be, I was looking for something to do anyways."

"They can't stay there all night," Kate said to herself.

"He said that they'll be here during the weekend." Jack replied hesitantly. "I'm not going to ask any questions because it's none of my business but if you have a place in mind then I can take you there." Jack motioned towards Kate's duffel bag, "Unless you already have a car or someone to take…"

"Thanks, but I'll be fine on my own."

Jack nodded and walked back towards his bed. His shower had been interrupted so he wasn't sure whether to get dressed again, or wait for Kate to leave and then go shower. He wanted to help her.

"You should think I'm crazy by now," Kate whispered as she walked over to him.

"I don't think your crazy," Jack whispered back.

"Why not?"

_Because I love you_. Jack thought. "I just don't that's it."

Kate crossed her arms and nodded. She looked around Jack's room. "Would you really help me get out of this school for the weekend. Even though you barely know anything about me?"

"Without a doubt,"

"I don't understand why you're being so nice,"

"I'm a nice guy," Jack said with a smile. "Besides as I said before I have nothing to do tonight and I hate being bored. By the way I'm Jack," he extended his hand.

Kate was surprised that he wasn't asking her any important questions. "I know your name,"

"You do,"

"You live on the 5th floor down the hall," Kate gave Jack a small smile and shook his hand, "I'm Kate, and thank you for not thinking I'm crazy."


End file.
